171 definitions by Nicholas D
Jake: "Did you go out and get some growler after you drank that entire growler last night?"
Tim: "No, it just made me have to take a major growler. I spent most of the night on the john."
Tim: "No, it just made me have to take a major growler. I spent most of the night on the john."
by Nicholas D May 28, 2009
"Bitch, get off the wood, you're no good
There goes the neighborhood hooker (slut!)
Go ahead and keep your drawers
Givin up the claps and who needs applause
At a time like this, pop the coochie and ya dead
The bitch is a Miami Hurricane head
Sprung, niggas call her 'lips and lungs'
Nappy dugout, get the fuck out
Cause women like you gets no respect
Bitch, you better run a check"
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
Kevin: "Man, I got the best head ever last night."
Rasheed: "Who was the ho?"
Kevin: "Some crack-smoking chickenhead from The Brook. She was hella broke down, but for a couple of rocks, she hoovered the shit out of my dick."
Rasheed: "For real? What was her name?"
Kevin: "Marqueesha. Marqueesha Johnson."
Rasheed: "The fuck? Break yo' self, fool! That's my sister!" *pulls out gun and points it at Kevin's head*
Kevin: "Sorry man, I had no idea. Just chill."
Rasheed: "Haha! Just messing with you, man." *puts gun away* "My sister gets around like a fucking record. She's been smoking pole since she could walk. Best get yo' shit checked out though. Good chance you got the clap."
Kevin: "Good one. I thought you were really gonna spark metal on my ass. Guess that explains why it itches."
There goes the neighborhood hooker (slut!)
Go ahead and keep your drawers
Givin up the claps and who needs applause
At a time like this, pop the coochie and ya dead
The bitch is a Miami Hurricane head
Sprung, niggas call her 'lips and lungs'
Nappy dugout, get the fuck out
Cause women like you gets no respect
Bitch, you better run a check"
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
Kevin: "Man, I got the best head ever last night."
Rasheed: "Who was the ho?"
Kevin: "Some crack-smoking chickenhead from The Brook. She was hella broke down, but for a couple of rocks, she hoovered the shit out of my dick."
Rasheed: "For real? What was her name?"
Kevin: "Marqueesha. Marqueesha Johnson."
Rasheed: "The fuck? Break yo' self, fool! That's my sister!" *pulls out gun and points it at Kevin's head*
Kevin: "Sorry man, I had no idea. Just chill."
Rasheed: "Haha! Just messing with you, man." *puts gun away* "My sister gets around like a fucking record. She's been smoking pole since she could walk. Best get yo' shit checked out though. Good chance you got the clap."
Kevin: "Good one. I thought you were really gonna spark metal on my ass. Guess that explains why it itches."
by Nicholas D March 2, 2012
Brandon: "Dude, want to head over to Pat O'Briens and catch the Sox game?"
Mac: "Uh...maybe later. Your sister just put up a new Facebook album full of spring break bikini pics, and she's looking pretty damn good. I'm just gonna hang out here and smack it to that a few times."
Brandon: "What??? Oh no you didn't! The only smacking that's going to happen is me smacking you up!"
Mac: "Uh...maybe later. Your sister just put up a new Facebook album full of spring break bikini pics, and she's looking pretty damn good. I'm just gonna hang out here and smack it to that a few times."
Brandon: "What??? Oh no you didn't! The only smacking that's going to happen is me smacking you up!"
by Nicholas D March 8, 2009
Cornelius: "Dwight sure acted inappropriately at last night's party."
Jose: "For real? What did that motherfucker do, playa?"
Cornelius: "Well, when I was in the other room refilling my apple juice, I believe that he attempted to make sexual advances toward my lady friend."
Jose: "That's just fucked up."
Cornelius: "It is indeed. I must take retaliatory action of some sort."
Jose: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle. Let's ride on that fool, dogg."
Cornelius: "I concur that doing so would be the most appropriate course of action at this time."
Jose: "For real? What did that motherfucker do, playa?"
Cornelius: "Well, when I was in the other room refilling my apple juice, I believe that he attempted to make sexual advances toward my lady friend."
Jose: "That's just fucked up."
Cornelius: "It is indeed. I must take retaliatory action of some sort."
Jose: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle. Let's ride on that fool, dogg."
Cornelius: "I concur that doing so would be the most appropriate course of action at this time."
by Nicholas D February 18, 2009
Al Gore may drive a hybrid and rant about global warming, but when you factor in the cooking grease burned to cook his food, his carbon footprint is pretty huge. The amount of weight that guy's packed on would put Sally Struthers to shame.
by Nicholas D June 16, 2008
To hold up two fingers with the intent of signifying that you have to drop a deuce, i.e. take a crap.
Johnson: "Now Frank, you have to cut the green wire first. Go ahead and do that now."
Frank: "Ok, cutting the green wire. Here goes nothing...got it! What's next?"
Johnson: "You're doing great, Frankie. How much time do we have left?"
Frank: "One minute, forty-seven seconds til she blows."
Johnson: "Now cut the blue wire. Once you do that, there's only one more step until the bomb is disarmed."
Frank: "I can barely see down here...ok, blue wire, blue wire...I think this is it. Cutting now...ok, we're clear. What now, Johnson?"
Johnson (in the background): "Oh shit! Agnes, get the phone for me."
Frank: "Johnson!!! Are you there?"
Johnson's secretary: "Sorry hon, I just saw him flash the deuce. My guess is he'll be on the crapper for the next 10 minutes or so. Today was the office chili con carne festival. You'd better call back later."
Frank: "But we have to dismantle this bomb!!!"
Johnson's secretary: "Um yeah...I wouldn't know anything about that. I suggest you try calling back around...oh...maybe 3:30 this afternoon. Buh-bye now."
Frank: "Ok, cutting the green wire. Here goes nothing...got it! What's next?"
Johnson: "You're doing great, Frankie. How much time do we have left?"
Frank: "One minute, forty-seven seconds til she blows."
Johnson: "Now cut the blue wire. Once you do that, there's only one more step until the bomb is disarmed."
Frank: "I can barely see down here...ok, blue wire, blue wire...I think this is it. Cutting now...ok, we're clear. What now, Johnson?"
Johnson (in the background): "Oh shit! Agnes, get the phone for me."
Frank: "Johnson!!! Are you there?"
Johnson's secretary: "Sorry hon, I just saw him flash the deuce. My guess is he'll be on the crapper for the next 10 minutes or so. Today was the office chili con carne festival. You'd better call back later."
Frank: "But we have to dismantle this bomb!!!"
Johnson's secretary: "Um yeah...I wouldn't know anything about that. I suggest you try calling back around...oh...maybe 3:30 this afternoon. Buh-bye now."
by Nicholas D June 18, 2008
A hypothetical form of the game wiffle ball (also spelled whiffle ball) that involves players with skill. Used in insults. Similar effect as minton or goodminton in the game of badminton.
John: "Ok, throw it. This one's going to be right in my wheelhouse and it's heading straight over the fence."
(Bill pitches ball, John whiffs)
Bill: "That's strike three - sit your ass down!"
John: "Whatever man, you got lucky there. I'm going to crush it next time I get up."
Bill: "You know, this game used to be called hittle ball before you started playing."
(Bill pitches ball, John whiffs)
Bill: "That's strike three - sit your ass down!"
John: "Whatever man, you got lucky there. I'm going to crush it next time I get up."
Bill: "You know, this game used to be called hittle ball before you started playing."
by Nicholas D March 10, 2009