Name removed by the NSA's definitions
Ewoks are teddy-bear like creatures from Star Wars that live on the planet Endor.
But do not be fooled by their cuteness. These badass little motherfuckers will fuck you up. And just when you think they're done fucking you up, they'll fuck you up again.
There is a reason why you don't see any other animals on Endor; because the Ewoks fucking killed them all. And the ones that they didn't kill are too scared of getting their fucking skins ripped off to show themselves. Nothing on Endor breathes without the Ewoks' permission. Once, they found a Jedi, and they tried to COOK HIM. Then, they encountered an entire legion of the Empire's best troops, and they kicked their asses using nothing but rocks, logs, and a few catapults.
Never mess with an Ewok. They will kill you, and play drums with your FUCKING SKULL. At least, if one of 'em doesn't decide to use it as a HAT.
But do not be fooled by their cuteness. These badass little motherfuckers will fuck you up. And just when you think they're done fucking you up, they'll fuck you up again.
There is a reason why you don't see any other animals on Endor; because the Ewoks fucking killed them all. And the ones that they didn't kill are too scared of getting their fucking skins ripped off to show themselves. Nothing on Endor breathes without the Ewoks' permission. Once, they found a Jedi, and they tried to COOK HIM. Then, they encountered an entire legion of the Empire's best troops, and they kicked their asses using nothing but rocks, logs, and a few catapults.
Never mess with an Ewok. They will kill you, and play drums with your FUCKING SKULL. At least, if one of 'em doesn't decide to use it as a HAT.
by Name removed by the NSA January 3, 2014
Get the Ewoksmug. by Name removed by the NSA November 15, 2013
Get the Firecrackermug. A vast network of data that is
40% pornography
30% cat pictures
19% creeps
10% advertisements
10% the word "gay"
1% relevant information
All of which is spied on by the NSA
40% pornography
30% cat pictures
19% creeps
10% advertisements
10% the word "gay"
1% relevant information
All of which is spied on by the NSA
People keep saying that we should go back to the "Glory days" of the 1950's. But we can't; now we have the internet.
by Name removed by the NSA November 15, 2013
Get the Internetmug. A person who tries to prove the non-existence of an entity that resides outside of the universe using the laws of the universe
by Name removed by the NSA November 15, 2013
Get the Atheistmug. The manliest person on earth
Facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)
-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)
-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.
When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.
-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.
-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.
-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.
-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.
-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.
-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com
-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.
-Under his beard, there is only another fist.
- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.
-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
Facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)
-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)
-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.
When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.
-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.
-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.
-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.
-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.
-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.
-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com
-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.
-Under his beard, there is only another fist.
- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.
-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
by Name removed by the NSA December 11, 2013
Get the Chuck Norrismug. 1. Abbreviation for "Laugh out Loud". Substitution for laughter.
2. How girls on the internet let guys know that they do anal
2. How girls on the internet let guys know that they do anal
1. A- why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from your mother's ugly face!
B- What's the difference between your penis and your jokes? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
C- lol
A- F**k you
B- lol
D- lol
2. See slut
B- What's the difference between your penis and your jokes? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
C- lol
A- F**k you
B- lol
D- lol
2. See slut
by Name removed by the NSA December 5, 2013
Get the Lolmug. Fucktardia is a far-off, magical land filled with wonderous works of stupidity, and great triumphs of brianlessness.
To get there, one must sail across the sea of stupidity, journey through the facepalm forest, climb the mountains of dumbassery, cross the river of retardation, and you will come upon the land of Fucktardia.
Fucktardia has a diverse and surprisingly large population. The largest city in the land of Fucktardia is its capitol; Fucktardingtonsworthingham.
The great city of Fucktardingtonsworthingham is a beautiful city, with many famous landmarks, including the Cathedral of Atheism, the Sara Palin monument, and, most importantly, the palace of the king of Fucktardia.
The king of Fucktardia is descended from a royal line of only the most stupid, null-minded, mind-bogglingly fucktarded. It is law, however, that if one can prove himself more fucktarded than the king, they will be crowned king of Fucktardia. George W. Bush did so in 2003.
The people of Fucktardia are called Fucktards, who speak Fucktarded, which is a language very similar to english, but lacks grammatical structure or proper syntax. 99% of the population practices the religion of Fucktardary. The other religion practiced by the remaining 1% is Atheism, because everyone knows that it's a religion. (Duh)
To get there, one must sail across the sea of stupidity, journey through the facepalm forest, climb the mountains of dumbassery, cross the river of retardation, and you will come upon the land of Fucktardia.
Fucktardia has a diverse and surprisingly large population. The largest city in the land of Fucktardia is its capitol; Fucktardingtonsworthingham.
The great city of Fucktardingtonsworthingham is a beautiful city, with many famous landmarks, including the Cathedral of Atheism, the Sara Palin monument, and, most importantly, the palace of the king of Fucktardia.
The king of Fucktardia is descended from a royal line of only the most stupid, null-minded, mind-bogglingly fucktarded. It is law, however, that if one can prove himself more fucktarded than the king, they will be crowned king of Fucktardia. George W. Bush did so in 2003.
The people of Fucktardia are called Fucktards, who speak Fucktarded, which is a language very similar to english, but lacks grammatical structure or proper syntax. 99% of the population practices the religion of Fucktardary. The other religion practiced by the remaining 1% is Atheism, because everyone knows that it's a religion. (Duh)
a. I just got back from my vacation in Fucktardia.
b. How was it?
a. Very enlightening. I'm thinking about going into politics.
b. How was it?
a. Very enlightening. I'm thinking about going into politics.
by Name removed by the NSA January 2, 2014
Get the Fucktardiamug.