26 definitions by Name removed by the NSA

An awesome computer hardware and software company that revolutionized the cell phone market three times (iPod, iPhone, iPad), and is constantly competing with exxon for the title of richest company in the world.

For some reason, a lot of people have come to hate it, even though they are the ones who made it such a huge company in the first place by buying all their products.
1- Man, Apple products suck! Why do people keep buying them!

2- Bitch, please. It's Apple.
by Name removed by the NSA December 15, 2013
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Girl- want to watch twilight?

Boy- sure! *shoots himself*
by Name removed by the NSA December 6, 2013
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What immature six-year-olds look up on the internet
Your mommy will not be proud

"Penis" is a very bad word
by Name removed by the NSA November 16, 2013
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1. Water that happens to be red

2. A Minecraft joke referring to lava

3. A girl's period
1. What the hell? Dude, look at this red water!

2. If you walk into red water, it will give you a health boost *snicker snicker*

3. I can't come to your party, sorry. The red water's flowing, if you know what I mean..
by Name removed by the NSA December 18, 2013
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The manliest person on earth

Facts about Chuck Norris:

-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)

-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)

-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.

When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.

-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.

-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.

-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.

-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.

-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.

-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.

-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.

-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com

-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.

-Under his beard, there is only another fist.

- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.

-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
Chuck Norris is the most badass motherfucker that has ever lived.
by Name removed by the NSA December 11, 2013
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Wednesday. The "hump" of the week.
Uh oh... Guess what day it is!

Guess. What. Day. It. Is.
Eh?
Hey, julie, guess what day it is?
Oh come on, I know you can hear me!
Mikemikemikemikemike!
What day is it mike?
Hehehuhaha!
Lesley, guess what today is!
(It's hump day)
WooWOO!!

HuMP DaEEEYYY! Yeah!
by Name removed by the NSA December 7, 2013
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