Name removed by the NSA's definitions
A badass, classic monster. It resembles a human, except for it's long, sharp fangs, and unusually pale skin. It lives on blood, sucking it from it's victims by biting them, usually on the neck. Similar to a zombie, the victim either dies, or turns into a vampire.
A vampire sleeps in a coffin during the day, as it will burn in the daylight. It is also often associated with bats.
Not to be confused with a sparkling little fucking FAIRY that stalks girls in high school 1/8 their age.
A vampire sleeps in a coffin during the day, as it will burn in the daylight. It is also often associated with bats.
Not to be confused with a sparkling little fucking FAIRY that stalks girls in high school 1/8 their age.
Girl: OMGG EDWARD IS SOOOOO HAWT!!!!1!!ONE1!!!!!
Boy: Please die..
This is an example of how the Vampire has been tainted forever.
Boy: Please die..
This is an example of how the Vampire has been tainted forever.
by Name removed by the NSA December 13, 2013
Get the Vampire mug.The manliest person on earth
Facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)
-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)
-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.
When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.
-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.
-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.
-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.
-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.
-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.
-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com
-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.
-Under his beard, there is only another fist.
- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.
-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
Facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)
-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)
-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.
When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.
-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.
-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.
-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.
-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.
-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.
-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.
-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com
-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.
-Under his beard, there is only another fist.
- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.
-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
by Name removed by the NSA December 11, 2013
Get the Chuck Norris mug.What airport security officers do to you if you blink wrong.
Imagine a group of people putting gloves on and taking turns shoving it really far up your ass.
Imagine a group of people putting gloves on and taking turns shoving it really far up your ass.
Airport cop: Name?
b: {very arabic name}
Airport cop: Come with me, please.
b: God dammit, it's an anal cavity search, isn't it?
Airport cop: Don't worry, we're only violating a COUPLE of your rights..
*glove snaps*
b: {very arabic name}
Airport cop: Come with me, please.
b: God dammit, it's an anal cavity search, isn't it?
Airport cop: Don't worry, we're only violating a COUPLE of your rights..
*glove snaps*
by Name removed by the NSA January 3, 2014
Get the Anal cavity search mug.by Name removed by the NSA January 3, 2014
Get the The NSA mug.1.Waste expelled from the body through the anus
2.An exclamation, usually of displeasure or fear
3.What you are a piece of for looking this up on the Urban Dictionary
2.An exclamation, usually of displeasure or fear
3.What you are a piece of for looking this up on the Urban Dictionary
by Name removed by the NSA December 3, 2013
Get the Shit mug.An awesome computer hardware and software company that revolutionized the cell phone market three times (iPod, iPhone, iPad), and is constantly competing with exxon for the title of richest company in the world.
For some reason, a lot of people have come to hate it, even though they are the ones who made it such a huge company in the first place by buying all their products.
For some reason, a lot of people have come to hate it, even though they are the ones who made it such a huge company in the first place by buying all their products.
by Name removed by the NSA December 14, 2013
Get the Apple mug.Uh oh... Guess what day it is!
Guess. What. Day. It. Is.
Eh?
Hey, julie, guess what day it is?
Oh come on, I know you can hear me!
Mikemikemikemikemike!
What day is it mike?
Hehehuhaha!
Lesley, guess what today is!
(It's hump day)
WooWOO!!
HuMP DaEEEYYY! Yeah!
Guess. What. Day. It. Is.
Eh?
Hey, julie, guess what day it is?
Oh come on, I know you can hear me!
Mikemikemikemikemike!
What day is it mike?
Hehehuhaha!
Lesley, guess what today is!
(It's hump day)
WooWOO!!
HuMP DaEEEYYY! Yeah!
by Name removed by the NSA December 6, 2013
Get the Hump day mug.