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Definitions by Name removed by the NSA

An awesome computer hardware and software company that revolutionized the cell phone market three times (iPod, iPhone, iPad), and is constantly competing with exxon for the title of richest company in the world.

For some reason, a lot of people have come to hate it, even though they are the ones who made it such a huge company in the first place by buying all their products.
1- Man, Apple products suck! Why do people keep buying them!

2- Bitch, please. It's Apple.
Apple by Name removed by the NSA December 14, 2013
A badass, classic monster. It resembles a human, except for it's long, sharp fangs, and unusually pale skin. It lives on blood, sucking it from it's victims by biting them, usually on the neck. Similar to a zombie, the victim either dies, or turns into a vampire.

A vampire sleeps in a coffin during the day, as it will burn in the daylight. It is also often associated with bats.

Not to be confused with a sparkling little fucking FAIRY that stalks girls in high school 1/8 their age.
Girl: OMGG EDWARD IS SOOOOO HAWT!!!!1!!ONE1!!!!!

Boy: Please die..

This is an example of how the Vampire has been tainted forever.
Vampire by Name removed by the NSA December 13, 2013
An ancient, long-lost website that once ruled the web thousands of years ago.

To find our current dictator, see facebook
Fact:
If you search 'Myspace' on google, all the results will be links to Facebook.
Myspace by Name removed by the NSA December 12, 2013

Chuck Norris 

The manliest person on earth

Facts about Chuck Norris:

-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)

-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)

-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.

When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.

-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.

-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.

-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.

-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.

-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.

-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.

-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.

-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:
gmail@chucknorris(dot)com

-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.

-Under his beard, there is only another fist.

- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.

-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
Chuck Norris is the most badass motherfucker that has ever lived.

Religion 

Atheist: religion is the biggest lie in the history of humankind *insert rest of shitfest*

Normal person: how about you just let me believe what I want to believe?

Atheist: *mind explodes*
One of the greatest websites in the history of man.
One can browse randomly selected funny pictures that will almost always make you crack up.

One can also submit their own picture to damnlol.

The only downside is all the ads for shitty games, or the occasional pop-up that usually leads to a porn site.

Also has an almost unlimited supply of knockoff sites (dmanlol.com, damnlo.com, etc.)
Whenever I'm bored, I like to go on damnlol.com
damnlol by Name removed by the NSA December 7, 2013

Urban dictionary 

Why the fuck do you have to look up "urban dictionary" on the fucking URBAN DICTIONARY!?