Definitions by Musty Musk Man

The Illuminati 

The historical group known as the Bavarian “Illuminati” was a secret society founded on May 1st, 1776, in the Electorate of Bavaria. The society had stated goals including the opposition of religious and superstitious influences on public life, and fighting abuses of state power. Alongside Freemasonry, they were later outlawed in Bavaria by edict. Since then, the term is used to reference many groups that claim either direct or indirect lineage from the original Illuminati, as well as Freemasons and other groups under that umbrella.

Read the following to the tune of the chorus of “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran:

I know a place that’s new,

Where reptilians butt-fuck Jews,

Alex Jones is up in there too,

It’s the Illuminati,

Last night they were snorting glue,

Until their faces turned bright blue,

I think I saw David Icke up in there too,

It’s the Illuminati,

Ooieooieooieooie,

It’s the Illuminati,

Ooieooieooieooie,

It’s the Illuminati,

Ooieooieooieooie,

It’s the Illuminati,

Everyday cooking up something brand new,

And now they’re gonna target you!

The Illuminati by Musty Musk Man March 30, 2025

Galway Boy 

To Galway Boy a man is to shove a blade of grass into their urethra for their sexual pleasure.

I gave Devon a Galway Boy.

Galway Boy by Musty Musk Man March 30, 2025

Fat Sloppy

A sex act involving hacking up a loogie into a fat persons belly button.

I gave Gerald a fat sloppy.

Fat Sloppy by Musty Musk Man March 30, 2025

American Triathlon 

An endurance sport similar to the Olympic Triathlon, however, instead of running, biking, and swimming, the disciplines competed in are Stock Car Racing (ie NASCAR,) Hot Dog Eating, and throwing (American) footballs through toilet seats.

I compete in American Triathlon events around the country.

American Triathlon by Musty Musk Man March 30, 2025

American Pentathlon 

An American sport similar to the Olympic pentathlon, in which competitors compete in stock car racing, throwing (American) Footballs through toilet seats, hot dog eating, M16 automatic rifle marksmanship, and lite beer drinking.

I competed in the American Pentathlon event at the Amerilympics.

American Pentathlon by Musty Musk Man March 30, 2025

Genius of the World 

What Elon Musks mother calls Elon Musk to make him feel better about himself.

“It is degrading to call my son wealthy, I prefer the term “genius of the world” to describe him.”

Genius of the World by Musty Musk Man February 11, 2025

Female Partner 

A woman that you do not like romantically or personally, that you still date because you are physically compatible.

My female partner is not a girlfriend.

Female Partner by Musty Musk Man January 17, 2025