4 definitions by Muhammad
by Muhammad July 16, 2015
n. Acronym for Non-Cognitive Organism.
1. The nickname of the blighted, brainfucked baboons that comprise the vast majority of the modern military.
2. Instantly recognizable by their pitifully deficient cognitive capacity, unrefined mannerisms and generally distasteful appearance and disposition.
3. Incredibly traumatized and incentivized almost entirely by fear and intimidation, which is why they mindlessly subject their subordinates to miserable treatment.
4. Fatally frightened of being exposed as the utterly useless creatures that they are.
5. Thus, they desperately sport a laughable God-complex to sustain their nonsensical facade.
6. Insist on commanding the respect befitting of a king despite exhibiting behavior characteristic of a buffoon.
7. Apt on making baseless, unactionable threats in the absence of true authority to execute said "threats".
8. Come from broken homes, abusive, disillusioned and criminal backgrounds. Thus normalizing the abominable behavior that they have been subject to and subject others to.
9. The only truly effective way to effectively deal with an NCO is to completely crush him in body and spirit and irrevocably communicate his place in the dominance hierarchy to him in no uncertain terms immediately thereafter.
10. Not that such treatment says anything about one's just character. It's just that the NCOs' inability to comprehend any language other than that of mindless brutality dooms him to such an ignominious fate.
1. The nickname of the blighted, brainfucked baboons that comprise the vast majority of the modern military.
2. Instantly recognizable by their pitifully deficient cognitive capacity, unrefined mannerisms and generally distasteful appearance and disposition.
3. Incredibly traumatized and incentivized almost entirely by fear and intimidation, which is why they mindlessly subject their subordinates to miserable treatment.
4. Fatally frightened of being exposed as the utterly useless creatures that they are.
5. Thus, they desperately sport a laughable God-complex to sustain their nonsensical facade.
6. Insist on commanding the respect befitting of a king despite exhibiting behavior characteristic of a buffoon.
7. Apt on making baseless, unactionable threats in the absence of true authority to execute said "threats".
8. Come from broken homes, abusive, disillusioned and criminal backgrounds. Thus normalizing the abominable behavior that they have been subject to and subject others to.
9. The only truly effective way to effectively deal with an NCO is to completely crush him in body and spirit and irrevocably communicate his place in the dominance hierarchy to him in no uncertain terms immediately thereafter.
10. Not that such treatment says anything about one's just character. It's just that the NCOs' inability to comprehend any language other than that of mindless brutality dooms him to such an ignominious fate.
2nd Lieutenant to General: Good morning sir! I'm afraid I'm having some trouble with my NCO.
General: Good morning, Lieutenant! Before I assist you with that, can you tell me what NCO stands for?
2nd Lieutenant: ...Non-commissioned officer, sir?
General: Valiant guess. Non-cognitive organism, lieutenant. Kindly command him having established this as an absolute fact and you shall face no more troubles henceforth.
2nd Lieutenant: Thank you sir! Good day!
General: Good morning, Lieutenant! Before I assist you with that, can you tell me what NCO stands for?
2nd Lieutenant: ...Non-commissioned officer, sir?
General: Valiant guess. Non-cognitive organism, lieutenant. Kindly command him having established this as an absolute fact and you shall face no more troubles henceforth.
2nd Lieutenant: Thank you sir! Good day!
by Muhammad October 1, 2020