invisible prison cell

The six-foot radius meant to prevent coronavirus transmission.

He felt it as portable solitary confinement, like carrying around an invisible prison cell.

by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020

Germaphobe

A suddenly-normal person for whom the global Coronavirus scare feels like everyday life.

Observing the near-empty streets, theaters and gyms, seeing people all around him wearing masks, avoiding doorknobs, refusing to take the subway or eat in public, watching as nobody is shaking hands, the germaphobe felt that what he had known for years was finally sinking in.

by Monkey's Dad March 06, 2020

Botocracy

A society in which women are enslaved by artificial notions of physical perfection.

At 23, she was tormented by her reflection. She was getting old. Under the new Botocracy, with President Kardashian setting the pace, she would need to get some work done, fast.

by Monkey's Dad October 05, 2021

gregarious loner

Someone who so loves other people that she strictly avoids them, to protect everyone.

Looking down from her solitary balcony at the empty street, she thought warmly of her many friends, and those she hoped someday to meet, glad that they were nowhere near her, happy for the moment to be the gregarious loner.

by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020

OMC

Shock at testing positive for the Omicron variant of Covid.

"I sincerely hope you're fully vaccinated"
"Who? Me? ... Why?"
"Your test came back positive. But relax. It will only kill you if you're unvaccinated,"
"OMC"
"OMG! Please tell me..."
"I mean... I figured... if Marjorie Taylor Greene didn't get the shot... or wear a mask... no need, right?"

by Monkey's Dad December 31, 2021

tomorrow, I will really start being good to you

Whispered to a woman who feels loved, cared-for, pampered to an ultimate degree, to let her know that you have only started.

As she lay on her back, eyes glassy, breathing deeply, wishing for nothing more than the moment, he put his lips to her ear and said, "Tomorrow, I will really start being good to you."

by Monkey's Dad December 03, 2022

Star Spangled Boner

The never-released 1981 porn flick starring John Holmes as President Ronald Reagan, screened privately every Fourth of July for a handful of top-tier Republicans at The Bohemian Grove, their tightly-guarded summer enclave in the Northern California Redwoods.

He'd figured it was an urban legend, but there it was, July 4th in the Grove's outdoor amphitheater, "Star Spangled Boner".

by Monkey's Dad March 25, 2020