Feeling what he knew would be her final orgasm of the night, he joined her, in perfect sync, and they fell into a state of simultaneous snoregasm, neither of them stirring until sunrise.
by Monkey's Dad February 27, 2020
Seeing him snort and paw the ground, while angling his horns in her direction, she was planning tonight's minotaurectomy, which would preferably be non-surgical, but hey.
by Monkey's Dad January 05, 2020
He sanitized his hands after touching any item, even if it had been sitting undisturbed on his desk for years. 'You can never be too careful', he said aloud, every few minutes, in denial of his isopropyl alcoholism.
by Monkey's Dad April 25, 2020
The validation of Einstein's theory of relativity, in which the concept of five minutes is infinitely elastic, and feminine.
by Monkey's Dad April 22, 2023
A surgical procedure to excise the insidiously invasive word "like" from an otherwise articulate person's vocabulary.
If she said, "I'm like", "he was like", or, "like, you know, like, kinda, like, pizza but without, like, any, like, crust" he would take her in for a like-ectomy, whether she... uh... liked it, or, like, you know, like, not.
by Monkey's Dad May 30, 2023
by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020
Observing the near-empty streets, theaters and gyms, seeing people all around him wearing masks, avoiding doorknobs, refusing to take the subway or eat in public, watching as nobody is shaking hands, the germaphobe felt that what he had known for years was finally sinking in.
by Monkey's Dad March 06, 2020