"Ok", she began, "so he like, asked me out, but I mean, when I like, asked if he was like, into "Cheer" he dropped Ted Danson, Kirstie Alley and, like, Shelley Long and I mean like, whose great-grandparents are they??? So I gotta do some online carbon dating first."
by Monkey's Dad October 26, 2020
Covid Standard Time.
A new Time Zone which took effect in 2020, throwing Easter Standard Time, Pacific Daylight Time and all the rest into a state of irrelevance.
A new Time Zone which took effect in 2020, throwing Easter Standard Time, Pacific Daylight Time and all the rest into a state of irrelevance.
His appointment was Wednesday at 10:15 CST, which meant he might show up on Tuesday or Friday, a week early, two months late, anytime, really, because what is time now? Covid had revealed time as a hoax of some sort, whether perpetrated by the media or the universe he would figure out later, yesterday or never.
by Monkey's Dad July 27, 2022
The thing music has charms to soothe, not savage beast, as commonly misquoted, perhaps in an effort to derail the adolescent giggles of boys aged 7 to 70.
From The Mourning Bride, a poem by William Congreve, 1697:
"Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast,
To soften Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak."
"Musick has Charms to sooth a savage Breast,
To soften Rocks, or bend a knotted Oak."
by Monkey's Dad June 15, 2021
The current social, emotional and psychological isolation, brought about by the pandemic, prefigured by American painter Edward Hopper, many decades before the fact.
How had Hopper foreseen it? Isolated souls, trapped in vacant rooms, staring out windows at the empty American landscape, in the grip of a virtual Hoppandemic.
by Monkey's Dad March 20, 2020
"feeling it everywhere" - a gently intimate way of letting someone know they have gotten you aroused.
by Monkey's Dad November 06, 2022
"Because my closest friends will be there", she said, "everyone I most like spending time with", explaining why she refused to go to the party. He could counter any reasonable explanation with facts, but hearing her irrationalize, he became flummoxed and just gave in.
by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020
After the fact. A measure taken in response to something which has already happened. Shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped. The opposite of preemptive.
"Would it seem postemptive if I wrote a letter of resignation?"
"They fired you last week."
"Yeah, well..."
"They fired you last week."
"Yeah, well..."
by Monkey's Dad March 11, 2020