Definitions by Monkey's Dad

minimal

Any mammal which has been shrunken by careful breeding, for maximum cuteness and portability.

"Why is that Guinea Pig on a leash?" she wondered, before coming close enough to see that it was a full-grown, two-pound minimal, the smallest dog she had ever seen. She had to have one.

minimal by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

empathology 

The debilitating capacity to feel what another person is experiencing.

Although she herself was still healthy, safe and cared for, she had completely stopped eating, knowing how many others were hungry, isolated and suffering from the illness, immobilized by her empathology,

empathology by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

documantra 

A film which masquerades as a documentary but is actually propaganda, repeating its sole point until it has been drilled into your brain.

Having sat through the six-hour documantra, he now believed that the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh was indeed an emissary of God, who needed his 91 Rolls-Royces, diamond-encrusted Rolexes and a retinue of young women to sleep with every night.

documantra by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

irrationalize 

To explain behavior or attitude with illogical, implausible reasons.

"Because my closest friends will be there", she said, "everyone I most like spending time with", explaining why she refused to go to the party. He could counter any reasonable explanation with facts, but hearing her irrationalize, he became flummoxed and just gave in.

irrationalize by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020

retroscopic 

Events or moments from a seemingly-remote past, almost beyond the reach of memory.

He tried to explain to his four-year-old, but the images felt retroscopic - the world healthy and sane, no one afraid to leave their homes, Obama in the White House.

retroscopic by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020

antisocial distancing 

The misanthrope's currently-plausible excuse.

"We can't be too careful, can we?", he said, avoiding his friend's extended elbow and backing away. While everyone was doing it, he'd always done it, his antisocial distancing now conveniently disguised as responsible social distancing.

antisocial distancing by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020

2020 dayjob 

The non-existent work a suddenly-unemployed waiter or waitress looks for, to make ends meet in the coronavirus economy.

An actress by training, a waitress by profession, she quickly needed to find a 2020 dayjob, with the whole world staying home. It wasn't going to be easy.

2020 dayjob by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020