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Monkey's Dad's definitions

mlpitb

"My Little Puddle in the Bed": When texted, an intimate erotic endearment, eclipsing the historic 'Ma Petite Chou-Fleur", (my little cauliflower,) and leaving the fabled Frenchman distinctly in second place
"Who's mlpitb?" he asked.
With trembling fingers, she barely replied "I'm ylpitb"
by Monkey's Dad November 21, 2022
mugGet the mlpitbmug.

self-interest

Wanting what is best for everyone, including oneself, not, as commonly believed, what is best only for oneself.
He knew it was in his self-interest to help as many people as possible thrive and prosper, in comfort and safety, that only then could he ultimately thrive and prosper.
by Monkey's Dad May 13, 2020
mugGet the self-interestmug.

NewJersification

To take an immaculately beautiful woman and, through blind applications of high-contrast streaks, razor-straight bangs, sharp 45-degree layered angles - phony fingernails which soon cover only half the natural nail and look like what exactly? - pounds of makeup, all of which which have zero to do with the real woman, her proportions, natural coloration or perfect essential beauty, and have everything to do with a state-wide communal aesthetic, n' toin huh intuh anuthuh cookie cuttuh Joisy Goil.
Underneath it all was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen or would ever see. Beautiful beyond words. All that had to be done was to simply reverse the NewJersification to which she had , stunningly, submitted .
by Monkey's Dad April 1, 2023
mugGet the NewJersificationmug.

peregrination

A country of the lost and wandering.
America after the fall became a peregrination, so many souls, trying to find their way back to a life that once was and would never again be.
by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020
mugGet the peregrinationmug.

less-lethal weapons

Rubber bullets, beanbag rounds, stun grenades and other projectiles fired by police at unarmed and non-violent American citizens. Such weapons can produce serious injury, permanent disability and death.
An 18-year-old man, struck in the head by one of the less-lethal weapons, suffered massive injuries. 'You could look down into the wound and see fractured skull fragments', said the EMT. Rubber bullets, fired by police from military grenade launchers, can cause internal bleeding, nerve damage and permanent injury to vital organs.
by Monkey's Dad June 13, 2020
mugGet the less-lethal weaponsmug.

Wankee Doodle Dandy

Boris Johnson, born in the United States, now, somehow, Prime Minister of Britain.
The ghost of Churchill returned to 10 Downing Street just long enough to be stunned that his once-dignified office was being sullied by this Wankee Doodle Dandy.
by Monkey's Dad September 21, 2019
mugGet the Wankee Doodle Dandymug.

Hey Nineteen

Foretelling COVID-19 and its social distancing, forty years early. Precognitive lyrics from Steely Dan's 1980 hit.
Hey Nineteen
No, we can't dance together
No, we can't talk at all
by Monkey's Dad April 25, 2020
mugGet the Hey Nineteenmug.

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