Monkey's Dad's definitions
A surgical procedure to excise the insidiously invasive word "like" from an otherwise articulate person's vocabulary.
If she said, "I'm like", "he was like", or, "like, you know, like, kinda, like, pizza but without, like, any, like, crust" he would take her in for a like-ectomy, whether she... uh... liked it, or, like, you know, like, not.
by Monkey's Dad May 29, 2023
Get the Like-ectomy mug.A society's fear of itself.
'Love Thy Neighbor' seemed an outdated notion, a souvenir of a vanished world, everyone now sheltering indoors, regarding their neighbors as a threat, overtaken by suisociophobia.
by Monkey's Dad March 22, 2020
Get the suisociophobia mug.He figured their server - "My name is Jason and I'll be taking care of you this evening" - having spilled water all over the table, and their laps, having left chunks of cork in their wine, having believed that 'medium-well' and 'medium rare' were indistinguishable and trying to persuade them of same, and having asked, "You two really a couple? ... Hot chick like this actually went out with you???" before turning to her and asking what she was doing next weekend, and lastly, sneezing on their desserts... deserved an appropriate tip, he calculated Jason's gratchooity, rounding it down to the closest dime.
by Monkey's Dad December 1, 2022
Get the gratchooity mug.By late August, as America geared up for voting-by-mail in the November presidential election, countless mail sorting machines had been not only removed from Post Offices across the country, they had been destroyed.
by Monkey's Dad August 19, 2020
Get the mail sorting machines mug.The precise one-year interval between mass shootings in America, beginning with the onset of the Covid pandemic.
Between 3/16/20 and 3/16/21, mass shootings in America stopped. It was the Covid cease-fire year, and who can answer why they resumed with such force.
by Monkey's Dad April 16, 2021
Get the Covid Cease-Fire Year mug.By late April, it still had not occurred to anyone in government to question whether the American slaughterhouse shutdowns, due to huge numbers of worker infections, might be a signal that coronavirus was animal-borne.
by Monkey's Dad April 29, 2020
Get the American slaughterhouse mug.Destabilized by uncontrolled infection rates, surging unemployment, months of fear and anger, vast numbers took to the streets in incendiary protest against police violence toward blacks and America edged toward panarchy.
by Monkey's Dad June 1, 2020
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