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Monkey's Dad's definitions

Breathing While Black

In too many instances in America, a crime punishable by death.
In the eyes of Derek Chauvin, George Floyd's crime was Breathing While Black. As Chauvin suffocated Floyd for more than nine minutes, ending his life, Floyd's last words were "I can't breathe", a phrase which became a rallying cry for justice.
by Monkey's Dad April 21, 2021
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dog dreaming

A sleep state, moving your arms and legs and making sounds, a manifestation of your dreams.
He could see that she was dreaming about running, her legs were going, and she was making little shouting sounds, dog dreaming, the way their poodle visibly dreamed of chasing deer.
by Monkey's Dad April 23, 2020
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Toxitocin

Oxytocin's evil twin, a hormone and neurotransmitter released into the bloodstream, producing violently unpleasant sensations, in response to certain stimuli.
She realized that for the first time in five years her mind and body were at ease. Biden was president. Covid vaccinations were available, stimulus checks were in the mail, which no longer took weeks to arrive. The trump-era infusions of corrosive Toxitocin which, at the sound... the very mention!... of the t-word, of that bluntly pugilistic name, the whine of that little voice! the sight of that absurd hairdo! had surged and coursed through her veins and synapses, was ebbing away. It was over. She felt almost alive again.
by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2021
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ingraptitude

She had finally had enough of his ingraptitude, deciding that the next time he woke her at 2:30, from a sound sleep, he would be set free to find out just how many women wanted to 'take care of' him at that hour.
by Monkey's Dad March 2, 2020
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Remdeceiver

A new 'miracle cure' for Covid-19 which is not a miracle cure.
"Remdeceiver is being touted as a cure", the epidemiologist said, "when it merely shortens the recovery of Covid-19 patients. We need either a cure or a vaccine."
by Monkey's Dad May 3, 2020
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stand down comedian

A professional, on stage in a comedy club, who suddenly understands there is no humor in our predicament, nowhere he can take us that is any more absurd than the facts, and walks off.
Oh, he had material ... Mexico building a wall to keep Americans out... Ivanka's first act as president, pardoning her imprisoned daddy, children dying so the school cafeteria staff could return to work... but he saw that we had fallen beyond the reach of laughter. He was finished, a stand down comedian, and others would silently follow.
by Monkey's Dad July 15, 2020
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Missing Definition

A word or phrase on Urban Dictionary which enjoys a fine and happy life, generating views and many thumbs up and down. It enters the language triumphantly, good people everywhere now using it. Then, in an instant, the word or phrase mysteriously vanishes from Urban Dictionary, and no one seems to know why.
He hunted for the missing definition. It was gone from his own pages. For a day or two it still showed up in the search bar, and in a Google search, then went completely AWOL. The author, deciding to re-submit it, got the "oops" message - the definition already existed - even though it didn't. Paging Sherlock Holmes.
by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020
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