Social-distance Drinker

Someone who only drinks alone.

For years he had only drunk in company, politely, and certainly had never taken a drink by himself, one of the warning signs of alcoholism, or so he had read. Now though... now it was different. Alone all day and night in his apartment, evening couldn't come fast enough as he looked forward to his first glass of wine, and his fourth, a social-distance drinker for the new era.

by Monkey's Dad April 03, 2020

deprestidigitation

Depression, when the magic goes out of digital life.

She had been enthralled with Facetime, Zoom, texts and emails, yet now was overwhelmed with deprestidigitation, yearning for a touch, a smile, eye-contact, the unfiltered sound of a loving voice.

by Monkey's Dad April 02, 2020

More Guns Than People

In the United States, 332 million people and an even greater number of firearms openly compete . On a daily basis, the firearms succeed in eliminating some of the human population. Humans attempting to reduce the number of firearms always fail.

In America, there are more guns than people.

by Monkey's Dad October 27, 2023

Mozombieque

The geographical root and source of Zombie legends.

Mozombieque is located on the coast of Africa, bordered by Zombia to the northwest and by Zombabwe on the west, all three countries populated by the living dead.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

Glass slippers

In "Cinderella", a ridiculous mis-translation from the French. The original story, handed down orally, centered around "Vair" slippers, vair being squirrel fur. But "vair" sounds like "verre", the French word for glass, and so it continued. Fur slippers make perfect sense. But glass??

Cinderella felt sorry for the handsome prince, kneeling before her. She wondered what kind of idiot expected her to take two steps in glass slippers, when the beloved pair she had lost were made of fur. "I mean, glass shoes? Really?"

by Monkey's Dad March 01, 2020

it'll wait

The haircut, manicure or new tattoo some feel they can't live without.

It's only hair, and it'll wait.

by Monkey's Dad May 19, 2020

miraculous medical reversal

An event which doctors have consensually denied possible because A) they have never seen it, B) they don't know how to make it happen, and C) it does not fit within the narrow guidelines of their practice, which are in place to keep patients where they are.

The patient had been diagnosed with Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, told that she would never walk again, classed as "non-ambulatory" for insurance purposes, issued a steel leg brace and a motorized scooter. Dutifully, she did not walk, or try to, for two decades. With the help of someone who believed that a miraculous medical reversal was possible, the day came when she walked into her neurologist's office on her own feet, without the scooter, without the leg brace. Her doctor responded with total refusal of acknowledgement. His practice, after all, was described as "maintenance", not cure, and what the hell was this.

by Monkey's Dad December 06, 2023