The intelligence to keep your orifices - nostrils and mouth - covered during a pandemic. Those who deny that Covid exists may refer to it scoffingly as OI as they wheeze their final breath.
Dismissing Orificial Intelligence, she was, for some reason, on a ventilator. "I mean, Marjorie ain't on no damn ventilator and she wears a mask. Around her neck. And she got real intelligence."
by Monkey's Dad November 22, 2021
He listened respectfully at first, filled with compassion, tears forming in his eyes as she narrated having been abandoned as an infant, left in a dumpster high in the Sierra-Nevadas, rescued by dumpster-diving circus riders who put her, untethered, on the back of a jumping stallion every night till she was sixteen. Years later, escaping one night off the coast of San Diego she waded into the ocean, hoping to end it all, only to be netted by Tijuana shrimp fishermen who forced her to peel shrimp for years in a rickety boat, the best life she's ever known, before falling overboard in a hurricane and washing ashore in San Francisco at the precise moment an 7.4 earthquake hit. How she got to the Greyhound station in Sparks she was still unclear, and could he spare a hundred bucks to help her find her rightful family, whom, she believed, might at this moment be remorsefully searching for her on the outskirts of Death Valley. By now dry-eyed and stone-hearted, he reached into his wallet for a five, which he slipped into the outer pocket of her spangled handbag and, not looking back, hopped quickly onto his bus while she prattled on with her Tale of Whoa!
by Monkey's Dad July 06, 2021
A deal with the Devil, made by many Americans feeling deprived of their 'freedom', to mingle in public in the midst of a pandemic.
She'd been starved for fun, locked up at home. Knowing it was weighing Faust or Famine, she was going to the beach.
by Monkey's Dad May 26, 2020
Once again, he asked her what 'multiple orgasm' meant, and once again, she provided the duhfinition.
by Monkey's Dad April 18, 2020
Disorder created by injustice, inequality and lack of accountability for the suffering of the people. A negative for which no positive - 'social rest' - exists.
The nightly protests and curfews were an outward sign of the social unrest which had been bubbling for years, exacerbated by surging unemployment, poverty and uncontrolled disease.
by Monkey's Dad June 03, 2020
Increasingly, he felt every unit of experience as an anachron. He was unable to answer what hour, what season, what decade it might be, or how old he was, completely uncertain as to how much, or whether, any time had passed or would pass between this moment and another. He was simply alive and had been granted extraordinary freedom from the weight of time.
by Monkey's Dad June 01, 2022
Mysteriously appearing in response to your user name, your password, your email, all of which you have entered correctly.
He typed his email for the fourth time, slowly and carefully, and again got the message: "does not match". He hit 'forget your password?' They could send him a temporary one, no problem. First, he needed to enter his email address.
by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020