Monkey's Dad's definitions

Gazpacho Police

Soup Nazis.

According to WWII scholar and Holocaust historian Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Gazpacho Police are now roaming the halls of Congress.

"Nancy Pelosi's Gazpacho Police, spying on members of Congress..." complained Greene. A person of her erudition could not possibly have been confusing cold vegetable soup with the Gestapo, Hitler's secret force, tasked with sending people to the concentration camps.

by Monkey's Dad February 10, 2022

Mountain out of a Molehole

An inadvertent mis-rendering of the saying "making a mountain out of a molehill" - enlarging an issue beyond its merits or needs - which unintentionally and charmingly accentuates the disparity.

"So what? You lent me your car to go grocery shopping. For whatever, an hour, and I brought it back! It was not three weeks later! Sixteen days is much closer to two weeks. You are so totally making a mountain out of a molehole".

by Monkey's Dad June 13, 2021

Coronundrum

A pandemic with no clear solution.

As the months wore on, all hopeful answers leading to dead ends, coronavirus threatened to become an incurable coronundrum.

by Monkey's Dad April 26, 2020

pins and noodles

A state of being highly agitated, yet feeling limp and boneless, anticipating a momentous event.

Sitting in the front row at the Oscars, watching as the envelope was slowly opened, waiting to hear her name called for Best Actress, she was on pins and noodles, wondering if she'd be able to walk to the stage or whether her legs would turn to spaghetti.

by Monkey's Dad March 1, 2020

Gender Reveal

An unsolicited photo of a person's genitalia. The politically correct term for what was long known as "indecent exposure", borrowed from the whole baby-coming-out-party idiocy.

She was neither shocked nor offended by Jared's sending her a dick pic an hour after their first date, as if he was unsure whether he was actually a man. She was fairly certain he was, and was not in need of the gender reveal.

by Monkey's Dad June 14, 2021

incringement

Violating the boundaries of another person in a way that make both parties intensely uncomfortable.

Her questions, on their first date, about the most intimate details of his personal history, all the women in his past, why he was single, his income, prospects for advancement and whether he had any communicable diseases, constituted an extreme incringement of his dignity.

by Monkey's Dad March 4, 2025

Eros Insanitas

Eros and Thanatos. Life Force meets Death Wish.

Shedding their clothes and their inhibitions, people gathered in a celebration of Eros Insanitas, knowing that many would be infected, some would die.

by Monkey's Dad May 25, 2020