Definitions by Monkey's Dad
Vaccophobia
An extraordinary percentage of the American population was infected, if not yet with Covid, then with vaccophobia. Sitting glassy-eyed and slack-jawed in front of their TVs, an American vaccophobe listened to paid performers on Fox and Newsmax, all of whom had been quietly vaccinated, tell them that Covid was nothing but a liberal hoax, that the vaccine would allow the illegitimate Democratic government to take their freedoms and to monitor their location at every moment. If they didn't believe it, they could look it up on their smartphones.
Vaccophobia by Monkey's Dad July 24, 2021
Vaccophobia
An extraordinary percentage of the American population was infected, if not yet with Covid then demonstrably with vaccophobia. Sitting glassy-eyed and slack-jawed in front of their TVs, vacchophobes listened to paid performers on Fox and Newsmax, all of whom had themselves been quietly vaccinated, tell them that it was nothing but a liberal hoax, that the vaccine would allow the illegitimate Democratic government to monitor their location at every moment. If they didn't believe it, they could look it up on their smartphones.
Vaccophobia by Monkey's Dad July 24, 2021
Vaccophobe
"If I die, I die", she said. "I'm not letting anyone convince me I need that shot". And no one convinced her, and she went maskless to her early grave, a proud vaccophobe, and an example of how America had been made "great again".
Vaccophobe by Monkey's Dad July 24, 2021
Chauvinism
Committing murder in broad daylight.
Named for Derek Chauvin, former Minneapolis police officer who killed George Floyd on May 25, 2020.
Named for Derek Chauvin, former Minneapolis police officer who killed George Floyd on May 25, 2020.
Derek Chauvin, in a brazen act of Chauvinism, knelt on George Floyd's neck for nearly nine and a half minutes while Floyd struggled to live, repeatedly gasping I can't breathe, until he died. Chauvin did so in public, as Darnella Frazier, a seventeen-year-old girl, recorded an unflinching video of the episode. Her video went viral, resulting in massive social unrest across America and was the pivotal piece of evidence in securing Chauvin's conviction for murder. He was sentenced to 22 years in prison.
Chauvinism by Monkey's Dad July 11, 2021
Tale of Whoa!
He listened respectfully at first, filled with compassion, tears forming in his eyes as she narrated having been abandoned as an infant, left in a dumpster high in the Sierra-Nevadas, rescued by dumpster-diving circus riders who put her, untethered, on the back of a jumping stallion every night till she was sixteen. Years later, escaping one night off the coast of San Diego she waded into the ocean, hoping to end it all, only to be netted by Tijuana shrimp fishermen who forced her to peel shrimp for years in a rickety boat, the best life she's ever known, before falling overboard in a hurricane and washing ashore in San Francisco at the precise moment an 7.4 earthquake hit. How she got to the Greyhound station in Sparks she was still unclear, and could he spare a hundred bucks to help her find her rightful family, whom, she believed, might at this moment be remorsefully searching for her on the outskirts of Death Valley. By now dry-eyed and stone-hearted, he reached into his wallet for a five, which he slipped into the outer pocket of her spangled handbag and, not looking back, hopped quickly onto his bus while she prattled on with her Tale of Whoa!
Tale of Whoa! by Monkey's Dad July 6, 2021
glass coffee table
The conservative justices might have noted that 'voting fraud', which several states claim they are trying to prevent, is essentially nonexistent. As one federal judge put it, such laws are akin to using “a sledgehammer to hit an imaginary fly on a glass coffee table.”
glass coffee table by Monkey's Dad July 2, 2021
icwfytgu
I can't wait for you to grow up
An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.
An acronym, conveying that the affectionate sender has long ago abandoned any hope that the recipient will ever grow up.
Again, her birthday, and again... turning twelve. What could he say? With steady fingers he texted "icwfytgu", secure in their shared understanding that she would remain twelve for the coming year, and for those to follow.
icwfytgu by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021