Definitions by Mike109999
Sports Aroused
When you are aroused in a very non sexual way, but with the same intensity, emotion, and passion as sexual arousal.
It could be a very sudden feeling, like seeing a sexy stat or a big goal, but also could be a prolonged feeling, like the few days after your team makes a huge trade.
It could be a very sudden feeling, like seeing a sexy stat or a big goal, but also could be a prolonged feeling, like the few days after your team makes a huge trade.
Al: Holy shit you gotta see this stat, I cant believe how underrated Jones is.
Mark: Oh my god, I am so Sports Aroused, I had no idea Jones was THIS good.
Al: Sports Arousal is the best. I still get the sweats talking about the Super Bowl 20 years ago.
Mark: Oh my god, I am so Sports Aroused, I had no idea Jones was THIS good.
Al: Sports Arousal is the best. I still get the sweats talking about the Super Bowl 20 years ago.
Sports Aroused by Mike109999 March 9, 2022
He For Sure Smells Amazing
When someone keeps a big job predominantly for how they look and for the perception of it being a good fit, as opposed to *actually being good*, he HAS to do all the little aesthetic things to compensate for being terrible.
Yurk: Ugh, my team has had the same shitty GM for 7 years, and we suck so bad. Why haven't they fired him yet?
LD: Well, obviously White Collar Steroids, but mostly he LOOKS the part and probably works the boardroom.
Yukr: Ugh, Ya, he for sure smells amazing, too.
LD: Well, obviously White Collar Steroids, but mostly he LOOKS the part and probably works the boardroom.
Yukr: Ugh, Ya, he for sure smells amazing, too.
He For Sure Smells Amazing by Mike109999 March 4, 2022
White Collar Kayfabe
In a business environment, everyone plays their roles as designed and expected.
The natural hierarchy is rarely rocked, due to the fear of sticking out, seeming petty, and of being blackballed.
Vendors over laugh at jokes to secure contracts, CEOs compliment staff in public because they once read something that says to compliment people in public, and nervous account executives overemphasize their local weather to open up zoom calls.
Essentially, everyone does and acts as predicted and as they are supposed to.
Kayfabe is rarely broken.
The natural hierarchy is rarely rocked, due to the fear of sticking out, seeming petty, and of being blackballed.
Vendors over laugh at jokes to secure contracts, CEOs compliment staff in public because they once read something that says to compliment people in public, and nervous account executives overemphasize their local weather to open up zoom calls.
Essentially, everyone does and acts as predicted and as they are supposed to.
Kayfabe is rarely broken.
Yurk: Hey, how is that RFP you are working on, I know it has been taking up alot of your time.
Rick: It has. I feel like breaking White Collar Kayfabe and just telling the prospect how smart they would look to their bosses by going with us, and how their history of stealing ideas from RFPs and labelling them as their own is why other companies don't want to work with them, but I can't. I have to play *THE GAME*.
Yurk: Ya, you definitely CAN'T break White Collar Kayfabe, you would get blackballed in your industry.
Rick: It has. I feel like breaking White Collar Kayfabe and just telling the prospect how smart they would look to their bosses by going with us, and how their history of stealing ideas from RFPs and labelling them as their own is why other companies don't want to work with them, but I can't. I have to play *THE GAME*.
Yurk: Ya, you definitely CAN'T break White Collar Kayfabe, you would get blackballed in your industry.
White Collar Kayfabe by Mike109999 February 21, 2022
That's a Hard Unsubscribe For Me
When you see something and instantly know you want to have nothing to do it. The figurative version of projectile vomiting on command.
Typically seen in pet peeve situations, or when someone in a group mentions they want to order Indian Food.
Typically seen in pet peeve situations, or when someone in a group mentions they want to order Indian Food.
Keanen: Haha oh Fuck, look at Coach's presser, he was hamming it up today. Talking wrestling. He really keeps the boys loose, eh.
Demmers: Ugh, That's a Hard Unsubscribe For Me.
Demmers: Ugh, That's a Hard Unsubscribe For Me.
That's a Hard Unsubscribe For Me by Mike109999 February 16, 2022
Guys, What Are We Doing Here?!
It is said with a rhetorical tone to overstate its emphasis, but also in total seriousness because the situation calls for a cold, figurative slap in the face.
If an eye roll was a vocal expression and not a sigh, this would be it.
If an eye roll was a vocal expression and not a sigh, this would be it.
Eldee: Ok, so happy hour at BP is from 3-6, wings, mini pizzas, and ceasers. I made a reso for right in front of the big screen, the fights start at 7.
Colleen: There's a really cutesy and ironic place on the Lower East Side that has fantastic arugula salad, and the rosee comes in fair trade mason jars!
Eldee: Guys, What Are We Doing Here?!
Colleen: There's a really cutesy and ironic place on the Lower East Side that has fantastic arugula salad, and the rosee comes in fair trade mason jars!
Eldee: Guys, What Are We Doing Here?!
Guys, What Are We Doing Here?! by Mike109999 February 16, 2022
False Leadership
Similar to False Hustle in its blatant vomit inducing cosplay, False Leadership is typically seen in the work place, specifically in company meetings, emails with many people cc'd, or over-thanking people to their superiors.
The main goal is to portray one's self as a great leader, specifically in the eyes of their bosses.
It elicits rage from people who witness it on a consistent basis.
The main goal is to portray one's self as a great leader, specifically in the eyes of their bosses.
It elicits rage from people who witness it on a consistent basis.
*In a Weekly Team Meeting*
Carly: I had Neil run some data tests for me, and then had Ignacio compare them to the other dates.
Neil: Ugh, false leadership. My JOB is to run data tests, I did them on my own accord. We have not spoken in 2 weeks.
Carly: *Looking at her boss Mark* Neil, that work really helped the team alot and helped me with my presentation. Thank you.
Neil: Kill me now.
Carly: I had Neil run some data tests for me, and then had Ignacio compare them to the other dates.
Neil: Ugh, false leadership. My JOB is to run data tests, I did them on my own accord. We have not spoken in 2 weeks.
Carly: *Looking at her boss Mark* Neil, that work really helped the team alot and helped me with my presentation. Thank you.
Neil: Kill me now.
False Leadership by Mike109999 February 12, 2022
False YOLO
An idea that may seem worthy of changing your life for, in the name of chasing your dreams and YOLO, but objectively, it is a fucking bad idea.
The only reason to do it would be for YOLO, despite it being dumb, not calculated, and have lasting negative effects.
Like a face tattoo, for example.
The only reason to do it would be for YOLO, despite it being dumb, not calculated, and have lasting negative effects.
Like a face tattoo, for example.
Skip: I really want to leave my super successful company, where I make lots of money, have an amazing partner, have zero debt, and have tons of fortune 500 clients. I want to make weed cookies. This is my calling, this is my dream.
Shay: Skip, you cant do it now, everyone is flooding the weed market, and your company is rock solid. Now is NOT the time to leave.
Skip: I think this is my destiny, like do I want to wake up everyday and be a marketing guy?!?
Shay: Now is NOT the time for false YOLO. Just eat weed cookies at work. You own your office, fam. Best of both worlds.
Shay: Skip, you cant do it now, everyone is flooding the weed market, and your company is rock solid. Now is NOT the time to leave.
Skip: I think this is my destiny, like do I want to wake up everyday and be a marketing guy?!?
Shay: Now is NOT the time for false YOLO. Just eat weed cookies at work. You own your office, fam. Best of both worlds.
False YOLO by Mike109999 February 8, 2022