The stupid shit people say whilst in the act of intercourse, presumably to arouse their partners. Examples include "Your dick is so hard/big", "you're so wet", "you feel so good inside of me", "you're gonna make me cum so hard", etc. This occurs exponentially more frequently in adult films-likely for the viewing pleasure of the audience.
Mike 1: Yo I slayed this slam piece over the weekend
Mike 2: How was it?
Mike 2: Pretty awesome, but her bang blabber was fucking annoying
Mike 2: How was it?
Mike 2: Pretty awesome, but her bang blabber was fucking annoying
by Mike and Mike the Accountants June 09, 2017
Common among older men, this refers to a condition in which one's urination stream is halted briefly every few seconds, then quickly returns to normal pressure. This cycle can occur several times during urination, depending on the volume of liquid being released. Contracting a busted stick shift can be caused by several medical conditions, but is most prevalent as a result of enlarged prostate gland complications. The term is derived from the ebb in motion caused when shifting gears using a manual transmission car. The change in acceleration revolving around this phenomenon is often embellished by poor driving and or broken (i.e. busted) stick shift. For the sake of this definition, the "stick" refers to the man's penis.
Mike 1: Dude that director that was pissing next to me had a totally busted stick shift.
Mike 2: O yea? He should consider masturbating more, I hear it clears prostate complications
Mike 2: O yea? He should consider masturbating more, I hear it clears prostate complications
by Mike and Mike the Accountants April 07, 2017
The act of a male inserting his penis into a women's vagina after pulling it out of her anus. Presumably there is fecal matter on the man's penis, which ultimately makes its way to the woman's vagina.
Mike 1: Some bitch wanted me to pound her ass last night.
Mike 2: How'd it go?
Mike 1: Pretty nasty in fact, she tapped out after like 3 seconds but I made sure I got my nut by giving her the old muddy snapper. I then doused my cock in Clorox.
Mike 2: How'd it go?
Mike 1: Pretty nasty in fact, she tapped out after like 3 seconds but I made sure I got my nut by giving her the old muddy snapper. I then doused my cock in Clorox.
by Mike and Mike the Accountants September 15, 2017
When a man attends Easter Sunday mass, (most often against his will by force of family, significant other etc.) he will quickly become incredibly disinterested and will look elsewhere to pass the time. It is at this moment that he realizes all the female parishioners dressing in their " Easter Sunday best" (i.e. dressing as promiscuously as possible despite the irony of attending church). It is important to note that this is one of the first times all year where the temperature permits the wearing of scantily clad clothing. After this phenomenon has been noted by the male, he will then begin to seek out the best looking women among the parish whom are dressed slutty as fuck, and begin to daydream about fucking the shit out of them. It is by this, and only this process, that the man is able to maintain his sanity during the mass. In some cases, the male might even take mental images for his spank bank.
Mike 1: Easter's coming up man, my lady's gonna make me go to church. Shit.
Mike 2: At least you have the easter egg cunt to look forward to!
Mike 2: At least you have the easter egg cunt to look forward to!
by Mike and Mike the Accountants April 14, 2017
Often following intercourse with a large African American mule pecker or a large member in general, this is a term denoting vaginal soreness or discomfort post-coitus. Cuntusion can also be spawned from very rough sex or lack of adequate lubrication. Following a cuntision, it is recommended that the vaginal area receive 3-4 days of rest, although this does not preclude external vulva play. To expedite the healing process, it is recommended that the female stay at least 50 feet from large African American males. Symptoms include swelling, soreness, chafing and discomfort while urinating.
Mike 1: Yo did you see the latest Sixers draft pick?
Mike 2: Yea man, he looks like a guy that would give my lady a serious cuntusion.
Mike 2: Yea man, he looks like a guy that would give my lady a serious cuntusion.
by Mike and Mike the Accountants March 31, 2017
This usually, but not exclusively, is performed on a hot, muggy day. When a male's scrotum coheres to his inner thigh thus causing his testicular area to become clammy, moist, and generally uncomfortable. To relieve this sensation, the man will stretch his legs (whilst standing) outwardly toward either side of his body and switch between leaning to each side of his body while simultaneously bending the respective knee he is leaning toward. If performed properly, a stretchsticle will give the appearance that the man is simply limbering up, or loosening his lower body after vigorous activity and will actually make him seem more athletic, relaxed and generally active. On the contrary, there will invariably be a large portion of the male population that will see through this deceit and realize that their fellow brethren is simply airing out his steamy dank-ass grundle.
Mike 1: Do you think that hot audit chick noticed I was doing a stretchsticle while I was talking to her?
Mike 2: No dude, she prob just though you were stretching your groin cus of hours of sex.
Mike 2: No dude, she prob just though you were stretching your groin cus of hours of sex.
by Mike and Mike the Accountants April 07, 2017
The thoughts a male has during intercourse to delay his impending ejaculation. Examples include sports, work, movies and his grandmother's loose, grungy, mothball ridden cunt.
Mike 2: Dude I came in like .08 seconds last night, my wife was pissed.
Mike 1: Guess you weren't thinking outside the box!
Mike 1: Guess you weren't thinking outside the box!
by Mike and Mike the Accountants June 29, 2017