7 definitions by Mike Grant

Roughly translates to "your promised reward is merely a fictitious motivator". Popularized by the game "Portal" (found on Half-Life 2's "Orange Box" game release for PC, X-Box 360, and PS3). During the game, an electronic voice encourages you to solve intricate puzzles using cake as a motivating perk. When you have "broken out" of the game's initial testing phase (from threat of death), you find scrawls on walls of the innards of the testing center warning you that "the cake is a lie".
Employee #1: Yo, Dave, manager says we will probably get a promotion if we meet the sales expectations for this quarter.

Employee #2: Yeah, so, don't get your hopes up on that one, Ed. The cake is a lie.

Employee #1: Really, aw crap.
by Mike Grant October 15, 2007
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Check out President Ahmoneedjurnob over there. He clearly needs a cock in his mouth.
by Mike Grant October 2, 2007
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This is the original and technically correct spelling of Republican, although "Republican" has come to be accepted as a correct spelling through common use, much as "stupider" has, or the obviously incorrect pronunciation of nuclear (spoken as nukuler) has become "correct" through its use by the head of the Repukeliscum, President George W. Bush.
Rush Limbaugh: In an effort to return to our origins as a political party, I will hereforth refer to us by our proper name, Repukeliscum. I do drugs. Thank you.
by Mike Grant October 3, 2007
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The written equivalent of 'I (or 'you') have no life'. It is derived from the TiVo television recording device. When you have selected a program to record, the machine asks you if you want to 'Record Entire Series'. This choice will provide you with much viewing fodder for months to come. This is a necessary choice for those devoid of options for social interaction.
Person 1: So, what are you doing this Saturday.
Person B: I don't know, rearranging my sock drawer.
Person 1: And that night?
Person B: Reading "The Two Towers", or something on TV.
Person 1: Jesus. Record entire series.
Person B: Yeah, I know. Don't need to rub it in.
by Mike Grant October 7, 2007
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(n) anything on television that only idiots would find interesting. (e.g. a reality show about Lindsay Lohan's mother.) 'Idiot bait' is used to lure in unsuspecting idiots, zapping them as soon as they click Record Entire Series on their Tivo, in order to remove them from the population. 'Idiot bait' is a population control method endorsed by President George W. Bush.
Person 1: Did you see that new show on television with Lindsay Lohan's mom? It looks like a car wreck.

Person B: Yeah, be careful with that. I think it's idiot bait. Your Tivo might zap you.
by Mike Grant October 7, 2007
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A face that is ugly due (at least in part) to the use of plasic surgery. Whether in an attempt to correct flaws or just to improve a decent face, sometimes the use of surgery causes recipient to have a Margarine face.
Person 1: Did you see what Kathy Griffin did to herself?

Person 2: I sure did. Before, she wasn't perfect or nothing, but now she's got a Margarine face.
by Mike Grant September 4, 2007
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Parents that hover over their children, hawkishly "helping" them face the college learning scenario. It is debated whether or not parents that hover are good or bad for their child's overall development.
Jan: Are Jane's helicopter parents back in town this weekend?
Judy: Do you really have to ask that question? They're ALWAYS in town for the weekend.
Jan: Poor, poor Jane.

Jan and Judy weep for Jane's sad existence.
by Mike Grant November 5, 2007
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