7 definitions by Merkin Wrangler

Bear-clawed

The act of pushing through a difficult task with a forced burst of frenzied energy. An old southern U.S. hillbilly term that spread into certain urban areas with the influx of dying farm communities.

"I don't know what's going on. They got themselves bear-clawed"

"I felt like going home early, so I just bear-clawed the last job."

by Merkin Wrangler January 9, 2019

Scrumple

The scrumple is the emergency grabbing of clothing off the floor and pitching oneself out the window when her husband/boyfriend/babydaddy suddenly comes home. Your socks, her roommate's underwear, and daddy's XXL workout shirt? No problem -- I'm not naked and I'm headed to my car.

"Ssh!"
"What?"
"He's back! Scrumple! Scrumple for your life!"

by Merkin Wrangler August 16, 2021

slapse

The moment lost to the void after getting railed in the face by an object, usually a hand.

"Dude, are you okay? She hit you pretty hard after you complimented her mustache."
"Sorry ... bit of a slapse ... I'm fine."

by Merkin Wrangler July 6, 2022

Trump

To screw over someone in an already-shady situation, i.e. not paying a prostitute, a drug dealer shorting a customer, shorting the pay of undocumented/uncontracted laborers, etc.
Trump theft prostitution

"I need to stop working conventions -- those drunk bastards Trump me more often than not."
"I think your dealer Trumped you, dude. This bag is all stems and seeds."

by Merkin Wrangler September 29, 2015

Tuckers

A pair of well-tanned testicles named after Tucker Carlson and his revolutionary scrotum tanning testosterone revitalization technique.

Bro, did you get a tanner? That's a great pair of Tuckers.

by Merkin Wrangler April 21, 2022

Mud Butler

Someone who works in a health care setting in which changing adult diapers is a common requirement, such as a group home for the elderly or IDD (intellectually/developmentally disabled) residents.

Doctors think they're a special breed, but it's the mud butlers who do the real work.

by Merkin Wrangler June 6, 2020

Bedtime Roulette

Fill a bottle with a mixture of Xanax, morphine, and laxative pills. Give it a good shake, then pour out 3 pills. Wash them down with a glass of whiskey, then try to take a dump and whack-off before you pass out and shit yourself.

Work has sucked lately. I think it's time for another round of Bedtime Roulette.

by Merkin Wrangler February 21, 2021