Mark Shackelford's definitions

Fleabites

One of the many groups of peoples listed in the Holy Bible that at one time or another caused trouble against Israel.

You shall not allow any of the jebusites, perezites, hittites, moabites or fleabites to enter the congregation.

by Mark Shackelford June 11, 2007

anal tissue

A soft tissue on a roll engineered primarily for wiping feces off a person's anus. It is also frequently substituted for facial tissue.

<wife> How did your day go?
<hubby> Not good.
<wife> What happened?
<hubby> I took a dump at work before I realized we were out of anal tissue.
<wife> That's terrible. So what did you do?
<hubby> I used my undershirt.

by Mark Shackelford June 4, 2007

phobotard

Someone with a fear of being late.

He's such a phobotard he gets to work an hour early.

by Mark Shackelford August 20, 2007

The Crack

Short for Jack in the Crack, another name for Jack in the Box, a fast food restaurant chain.

I went down to The Crack and had a feeding frenzy off the dollar menu.

by Mark Shackelford May 7, 2007

misgruntled

To be upset with someone or something based on false or misleading information.

We're having a misgruntled employee meeting for everyone who thought we were cutting their benefits.

by Mark Shackelford June 18, 2007

futon

A really uncomfortable couch that easily converts to a really uncomfortable bed.

I see your little brother has a futon. Did he get that free with the purchase of his new Yugo?

by Mark Shackelford February 29, 2008