Mark Shackelford's definitions

anal tissue

A soft tissue on a roll engineered primarily for wiping feces off a person's anus. It is also frequently substituted for facial tissue.

<wife> How did your day go?
<hubby> Not good.
<wife> What happened?
<hubby> I took a dump at work before I realized we were out of anal tissue.
<wife> That's terrible. So what did you do?
<hubby> I used my undershirt.

by Mark Shackelford June 4, 2007

weasel squeezers

Men's technical cycling shorts.

I wear baggies over my weasel squeezers for my urban assaults.

by Mark Shackelford August 20, 2007

quitar

A six string instrument that has been abondoned because the buyer either lost interest or quit because it was too hard to play.

I wish ol' Joe would sell me his quitar. It's been sitting in the closet for decades.

by Mark Shackelford April 28, 2007

Hurricane Hannah

A former champion motocross racer, Bob Hannah, who was known for loosing control of his bike but staying on the throttle until it was over.

Hurricane Hannah gets squirrely in the washboard but manages to hang on.

by Mark Shackelford May 12, 2007

enchihuahua

An enchilada made with dog meat.

I'll take the enchihuahua platter with verde sauce and double rice instead of beans.

by Mark Shackelford September 16, 2007

Obi Wan Baloney

Someone who speaks of something they know nothing about as if they were a Jedi Master.

<Obi Wan Baloney> You should be careful when doing barrel rolls - it could disturb the yeast.
<Chuck Yeager> Thanks, I'm trying to reduce my bread intake anyway.

by Mark Shackelford November 19, 2007

car warts

Nonfunctional, external car accessories that appear to be performance modifications but actually diminish aerodynamics and add dead weight to the vehicle.

<poser> I've got fake dual exhaust with chrome tips, a dummy hood scoop, an artificial slant antenna and nonfunctional side vents. Anything else I can do to impress the women?

<tuner> Yeah, get rid of all those car warts and get a personality!

by Mark Shackelford July 30, 2007