Neiman Markups

A department store where you can purchase the same items as in other stores for twice the price.

My mom bought me a pair of gay shorts for $80 at Neiman Markups. I saw the same shorts at Foley's for $40 and they were just as gay.

by Mark Shackelford June 27, 2007

holysexual

Men and women who completely abstain from even the hint of sex until married and only have sex with their spouse in obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

<pastor> I didn't even kiss my wife until we were married. On our honeymoon, it was about a two hour drive to our hotel after the flight. I was doing all I could to contain myself. We finally arrived and what happened after that is none of your business.
<teenager> Were you asexual or something?
<pastor> No, I am a holysexual.

by Mark Shackelford May 16, 2007

guitortion

An uncontrolled contorting of the face of a guitar player making repeated, irreconilable, humiliating mistakes during a solo at a live performance.

That guy's solo was so bad he had the guitortion turned up to nine.

by Mark Shackelford April 26, 2007

futon

A really uncomfortable couch that easily converts to a really uncomfortable bed.

I see your little brother has a futon. Did he get that free with the purchase of his new Yugo?

by Mark Shackelford February 29, 2008

numlock

The event that no matter how hard you work on a problem or how educated and tutored you are, you just can't get the right answer.

Did you figure out the square root of 1 yet?
No, I've had numlock all week.

by Mark Shackelford April 27, 2007

mexican cereal

Corn chip fragments mixed with salsa eaten with a spoon.

When life throws you nothing but the bottom of a bag of corn chips and some salsa, make mexican cereal!

by Mark Shackelford August 04, 2007

monarchbutter

The accumulation of smashed Monarch butterflies on the front of any motorized vehicle. Monarchbutter is a seasonal product with a harvest occuring during the annual migration of Monarch butterflies in South Texas.

<Passenger> Man, I'm starving and I'm broke. Can you buy me something to eat at the next stop?
<Driver> I only have enough money for gas, but I have some bread and jelly in the back. Let's scrape a little monarchbutter off the car and make some sandwiches!

by Mark Shackelford May 10, 2007