A sudden shift in belief systems (usually finding Jesus, but also Allah and probably every other Deity) after a period of incarceration. Usually a ploy for leniency with the legal system. Oddly, given the separation of church and state that we're supposed to have in this country, it does sometimes seem to have a positive effect when going to talk to the judge/parole board. Everyone from your local meth dealer to Manuel Noriega, Dictator of Panama have tried this one, making it one of the truly "oldest ones in the book".
typical jailhouse conversion:
Crack Dealer: Your Honor, I found Jesus in the Dade County Jail.
Judge: Big deal, this is Florida, every third guy in there is named Jesus....
Crack Dealer: Your Honor, I found Jesus in the Dade County Jail.
Judge: Big deal, this is Florida, every third guy in there is named Jesus....
by Madmann October 11, 2005
by Madmann October 08, 2005
A word we use all the time where I work. It's when a software company releases an update to the program that introduces more bugs than it fixed. It is, of course, a contraction of "fucked up" and "update".
Chris: You get that buggy software doing what you want yet?
Madmann: No, they sent me a fupdate. I'm about a week behind where I was yesterday....
Madmann: No, they sent me a fupdate. I'm about a week behind where I was yesterday....
by Madmann October 14, 2005
A black fly in your Chardonnay? How is that, Alanis? And isn't it moronic... don't ya think?
It's ironic that the song "Ironic" contains no irony.
It's ironic that the song "Ironic" contains no irony.
by Madmann October 05, 2005
It's when something, or someone is sort of non-specific about whatever it is that they might (or might not) be talking about, dealing with, screwing or what have you. Unless it's not, which means that at some point it may or may not be. Time will tell.
by Madmann October 07, 2005
Commercially available chemical for cleaning residue from inside of bongs. Contains chemicals you probably shouldn't be inhaling. Use Palmolive mixed with baking soda instead.
by Madmann October 08, 2005
Some people mistakenly believe this is a term for those over 18. Fraid not. Some people are born grown-ups, and some die at 100 never having acheived this status. If you are one, congratulations on not dying thus far; if not, here's some things you have to look forward to!
• You will cease to be impressed with your 1337speak, pwning people, your h4x0r rep and otherwise talking "liek u r" an illiterate moron. Intelligence, it's not just for breakfast anymore.
• For you emo kids, the world will get brighter for you when you stop crying and get another piece of ass. Life's cyclical in nature, roll with it.
• You will finally understand why your dad always screams when you begin to pay all your own bills. TIP: Pay electricity bill before buying the new GTA.
• Realizing that just because you CAN drink doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. Go out Wednesday, your place of employment might look like the jaws of Hell Thursday morning at 7:00 AM.
• Realizing that your place of employment ALWAYS looks like the jaws of Hell, shrugging and doing what you damn well feel like anyway.
and finally,
• The moment when you are truly no longer a kid, because you can't be. Because you have decided that all kids, without exception, SUCK. Because now YOU have a kid, crying, yelling, wetting the bed, wanting money. Karma's a cruel bitch.
Other than that, it's the only way to be... what else ya gonna do, be a 40 year old skateboarder?
• You will cease to be impressed with your 1337speak, pwning people, your h4x0r rep and otherwise talking "liek u r" an illiterate moron. Intelligence, it's not just for breakfast anymore.
• For you emo kids, the world will get brighter for you when you stop crying and get another piece of ass. Life's cyclical in nature, roll with it.
• You will finally understand why your dad always screams when you begin to pay all your own bills. TIP: Pay electricity bill before buying the new GTA.
• Realizing that just because you CAN drink doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. Go out Wednesday, your place of employment might look like the jaws of Hell Thursday morning at 7:00 AM.
• Realizing that your place of employment ALWAYS looks like the jaws of Hell, shrugging and doing what you damn well feel like anyway.
and finally,
• The moment when you are truly no longer a kid, because you can't be. Because you have decided that all kids, without exception, SUCK. Because now YOU have a kid, crying, yelling, wetting the bed, wanting money. Karma's a cruel bitch.
Other than that, it's the only way to be... what else ya gonna do, be a 40 year old skateboarder?
I'm glad I'm a grown-up
or
(Closed captioning for the 1337 impaired)
i r liek ben a grown-up. it's teh w00t.
or
(Closed captioning for the 1337 impaired)
i r liek ben a grown-up. it's teh w00t.
by Madmann October 08, 2005