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Mad Mick!'s definitions

Chili Finger

The result of a particularly large, high pile of shit in the can causing you to sauce up your fingers whilst going for an ass wipe.
I only had five minutes before my lunch break was over, so I wiped fast and got out of there. It wasn't until I shook my boss's hand that I realized I had passed him a couple chili fingers.
by Mad Mick! November 23, 2016
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bumper bitch

A bumper bitch is the stupid ass mother fucker who gets in the smallest fender bender accident ever on the busiest street in existence, yet proceeds to leave the vehicle parked in the middle of the goddamn road in complete ignorance or in hopes of several thousand cars behind him slamming on their brakes trying to avoid a catastrophic pile-up.
I just got out of the ICU having broken my neck from rolling my mother fucking car while trying to avoid the goddamn bumper bitch hanging out in the middle of the freeway. Next time I see a bumper bitch, I'll slap that fucker's face from my driver's seat as he stares at me in bewilderment with his head through my windshield.
by Mad Mick! May 30, 2016
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naldworth

A one-of-a-kind, stupid ass mother fucker who attempts the absolute worst type of golf shot they could possibly draw up.
The route to the green was too perfect and wide open, so Badshah pulled a Naldworths and hit a huge-ass power slice through the fucking forest to get there instead.
by Mad Mick! May 30, 2016
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Chocolate squall

The absolute torrential evacuation of the bowels, literally causing the water and liquid shit in the toilet to circle with gale force speeds, causing utter destruction to everything in the bathroom.
Dave unleashed a chocolate squall in the upstairs bathroom, causing our can ceiling lights to rain shit for a week.
by Mad Mick! September 7, 2016
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Triple Deke

A spectacular move where one successfully takes a piss, plops a shit, and either whacks off (or rubs one out) all in one sitting on the can.
Dave has been in the bathroom for 20 minutes. I bet that bastard is either pulling off a Triple Deke or cleaning up a Speckled Moon. Since you're a fag, put your ear up to the door and listen for the grand finale.
by Mad Mick! July 18, 2016
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Pussy Poet

An individual so verbally and/or orally gifted that they can make a pussy explode by merely speaking to it.
Mick was so goddamn smooth while talking with that blonde that after he left I heard her asking a janitor for a mop. He's a true pussy poet.
by Mad Mick! November 23, 2016
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jap pap strap

A unique, strap on, double sided dildo used in Japanese porn. The curved, erect dildo that doubles as a pussy/ass plug, is enhanced with an inside vibrator in order to for the wearer of the jap pap strap to also be satisfied as they're pounding away.
Higgins' mother got so wet while catching him masturbating that she fixed on her jap pap strap and surprised his ass with a rubber cock right as she herself flooded the other end.
by Mad Mick! March 7, 2017
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