Ludwig van Funkenstein's definitions

completard

A complete retard. Strong insult.

"Alan Titchmarsh is a completard."

by Ludwig van Funkenstein August 30, 2007

minge pelmet

Hanging flab from below a woman's gut but above her genitals. Many women attempt to hide their pelmets by pulling their trousers up well above their waists.

Origin: midlands, UK. Minge: see 'minge'. Pelmet: an architectural feature built to hide curtain fittings, making the appearance of the curtain more aesthetic.

Minge Pelmet may also be used to describe an individual with a prominent minge pelmet.

"Fuck me, look at the minge pelmet on her!"

"Look out! Here comes Minge Pelmet!"

by Ludwig van Funkenstein August 30, 2007

sack wearer

An obese female who wears a sack-like garment in a futile attempt to appear less vast. Often the sack has a hole cut in the top to display the contours of their massive norks. Few find this attractive.

"Hey look at that sack wearer! What a massive fatass!"

by Ludwig van Funkenstein August 30, 2007

Swest

A general exlamation or adjective. Useful for when more widespread words elude you.

Origins: Kings' Heath, Birmingham / Redditch, Worcestershire. Originally derived from the name 'Adam West,' a prominent local celebrity known to perform street magic and stripteases.

"You're a bit of a swest!"
or
"Ahh Swest! I just dipped my elbow in that stool sample!"

by Ludwig van Funkenstein January 2, 2009