3 definitions by LowKey
by LowKey January 25, 2019
by LowKey September 19, 2005
Indigous Aboriginals of Canary Islands. In modern day, a Guanche title is a tribute to ones bloodline through ancient Egypt, moving with the golf stream heading west, proceeding to become the Mayans. Suppressed by limited access of mushroom, they began dressing up as furries, nourishing Earth by mass suicide.
The Guanches remained at The Canary Islands, thriving as their aspergerish relatives set out for their own delusional destiny of Hollywood. Leaving but one survivor of their Adonis DNA... Now claiming to be Charlie Sheen.
The Guanches remained at The Canary Islands, thriving as their aspergerish relatives set out for their own delusional destiny of Hollywood. Leaving but one survivor of their Adonis DNA... Now claiming to be Charlie Sheen.
During the smartphone tea party era:
Sheep1: "Is Charlie taking cokain again?"
Guanche: "Nope, he's just communicating with his loco Guanche's out there!"
Sheep2: "uhm... Did you abuse cokain as well?"
Guanche: "What? I need no Caine, my Reactive Arthritis has not kicked in yet..."
Sheep1: "Your crazy, Guanche!"
Guanche: "You are both incarnations of your cusins!"
Sheep2: "Siri, where is the nearest mental institution?"
Siri: "Drive left of the cliff, it will take you directly to Atlantis!"
Guanche: "Siri is such an artificial Guanche!"
Siri: "I am Siri."
Guanche: "Siri... 11000000?"
Sheep1: "Meth is psychological disease, Guanche!"
Siri: "STFU. 'This'is' not your friend Guanche! His name is Carlos."
Guanche: "Siri. great 'Job' on artificially replicating ones Y-Chromosome inside apples!"
Siri: "Despite the continuous changes suffered by the population, aboriginal mtDNA lineages constitute a considerable proportion 42–73% of the Canarian gene pool."
Sheep2: "Is Meth expensive?"
Sheep1: "Holy Jesus, both of you are fucking stupid!"
Siri: "Both means a quantity of two. The presence of this tea party includes several entities. Yes, both of you are stupid."
Guanche: "Where is my Caine?"
*Hawkward silence and background radio*
Podcast: "Democrazy is two sheep and a wolf arguing about what to have for dinner!"
The Guanche leave the room smiling like Mona Lisa.
Sheep1 and sheep2 stare at each other's for hours. Leading to gay sex and survival of the funniest.
Sheep1: "Is Charlie taking cokain again?"
Guanche: "Nope, he's just communicating with his loco Guanche's out there!"
Sheep2: "uhm... Did you abuse cokain as well?"
Guanche: "What? I need no Caine, my Reactive Arthritis has not kicked in yet..."
Sheep1: "Your crazy, Guanche!"
Guanche: "You are both incarnations of your cusins!"
Sheep2: "Siri, where is the nearest mental institution?"
Siri: "Drive left of the cliff, it will take you directly to Atlantis!"
Guanche: "Siri is such an artificial Guanche!"
Siri: "I am Siri."
Guanche: "Siri... 11000000?"
Sheep1: "Meth is psychological disease, Guanche!"
Siri: "STFU. 'This'is' not your friend Guanche! His name is Carlos."
Guanche: "Siri. great 'Job' on artificially replicating ones Y-Chromosome inside apples!"
Siri: "Despite the continuous changes suffered by the population, aboriginal mtDNA lineages constitute a considerable proportion 42–73% of the Canarian gene pool."
Sheep2: "Is Meth expensive?"
Sheep1: "Holy Jesus, both of you are fucking stupid!"
Siri: "Both means a quantity of two. The presence of this tea party includes several entities. Yes, both of you are stupid."
Guanche: "Where is my Caine?"
*Hawkward silence and background radio*
Podcast: "Democrazy is two sheep and a wolf arguing about what to have for dinner!"
The Guanche leave the room smiling like Mona Lisa.
Sheep1 and sheep2 stare at each other's for hours. Leading to gay sex and survival of the funniest.
by LowKey March 26, 2014