(1491-1547) A King of England who began as a handsome, sweet-natured prince and became a fat, bloated, lecherous, ruthless, narcissistic tyrant whose split from the Catholic faith to divorce his first wife and marry his second can be felt today.
He married six times, first to Katherine of Aragon (divorced), then to Anne Boleyn (beheaded), then to Jane Seymour (died), then to Anne of Cleves (divorced), then to Katherine Howard (beheaded), and finally to Katherine Parr (survived).
To his credit, he legitimized the crown after decades of the War of the Roses (warring between the two branches of the royal family), but he is remembered today for his lechery and for abusing his wives and his two daughters in a futile effort for a healthy son; only his daughter Elizabeth I would be his saving grace.
He married six times, first to Katherine of Aragon (divorced), then to Anne Boleyn (beheaded), then to Jane Seymour (died), then to Anne of Cleves (divorced), then to Katherine Howard (beheaded), and finally to Katherine Parr (survived).
To his credit, he legitimized the crown after decades of the War of the Roses (warring between the two branches of the royal family), but he is remembered today for his lechery and for abusing his wives and his two daughters in a futile effort for a healthy son; only his daughter Elizabeth I would be his saving grace.
After the death of Jane Seymour from childbirth, a new wife was sought for Henry VIII, reaching across Europe, but his reputation preceded him; he chose 16-year-old Christina of Milan first, but the widowed duchess (a great-niece of Katherine of Aragon) refused, saying that she would be happy to marry him if she had two heads. Henry next chose Marie de Guise, another young widow, since "as a big man he needed a big wife"; she rejected his offer and quipped that she may have been a big woman but she had a very little neck (in reference to Anne Boleyn) and she wasted little time in marrying Henry's nephew, James V of Scotland. Anne of Cleves became the first pick as other candidates made excuses or married.
Henry VIII seemed to have a liking for redheads named Katherine, since he married three such women.
Messenger: (to a group of young noblewomen) "His Royal Majesty Henry VIII seeketh another wife."
Young noblewomen: (screaming in horror and stampeding)
Henry VIII seemed to have a liking for redheads named Katherine, since he married three such women.
Messenger: (to a group of young noblewomen) "His Royal Majesty Henry VIII seeketh another wife."
Young noblewomen: (screaming in horror and stampeding)
by Lorelili September 21, 2011
Usually referring to an unshaven female pudenda, but it could refer to any bodily hair (underarm hair, pubic hair, leg hair) of both genders
I can deal with fur pie, but it's not my favorite kind of pie.
-"Are you unshaven?"
-"Well..."
-"Are you unshaven? Fur pie doesn't sell."
-"Are you unshaven?"
-"Well..."
-"Are you unshaven? Fur pie doesn't sell."
by Lorelili November 26, 2005
An old interrogation and torture device: basically a set of tongs with two pairs of big claws.
Red-hot or ice-cold, they tore to shreds the breasts of countless women who were convicted of heresy, adultery, self-induced abortion, erotic white magic, or some other crime.
Often, one breast of an unmarried mother would be subjected to this agony.
Red-hot or ice-cold, they tore to shreds the breasts of countless women who were convicted of heresy, adultery, self-induced abortion, erotic white magic, or some other crime.
Often, one breast of an unmarried mother would be subjected to this agony.
“'Are they ready?!' one of the women called over to the oven. 'Ready!' a burly, middle-aged man answered, wielding a pair of breast rippers! The torturers stood and watched with glee!
The red-hot pinchers jabbed deep into the flesh of the right breast of Britney Spears, searing her. She squawked like a parrot as the man suddenly yanked the tongs away! The implant fell away as the breast tore, the sac bursting on the stone floor!"
The red-hot pinchers jabbed deep into the flesh of the right breast of Britney Spears, searing her. She squawked like a parrot as the man suddenly yanked the tongs away! The implant fell away as the breast tore, the sac bursting on the stone floor!"
by Lorelili March 25, 2005
Scottish Gaelic for bitch. "Galla" is used to describe somebody (male or female) who is a nasty or annoying peronality or as an explitive: "A ghalla!" ("Oh fuck!")
A ghalla! Thug thu chreach dhomh!": "Fuck! You screwed me over!" (lit. "Oh bitch! You gave ruin to me!")
Taigh na Galla ort!: "Fuck/damn you!" (lit. "House of the Bitch on you!")
Càr na Galla!: "Damned/fucking/bloody car!" (lit. "Car of the Bitch!")
Tha Ann Coulter 'na siùrsach na Galla: "Ann Coulter is a fucking bitch." (lit. "Ann Coulter is a whore of the Bitch.")
Taigh na Galla ort!: "Fuck/damn you!" (lit. "House of the Bitch on you!")
Càr na Galla!: "Damned/fucking/bloody car!" (lit. "Car of the Bitch!")
Tha Ann Coulter 'na siùrsach na Galla: "Ann Coulter is a fucking bitch." (lit. "Ann Coulter is a whore of the Bitch.")
by Lorelili February 14, 2006
Adjective. Of a body: thick and solid, although not necessarily fat. That is, nicely filled out and sensually appealing, voluptuous.
Of a woman: buxom and shapely, with broad hips and lots of sensuous, womanly curves (as opposed to a twiggy, androgynous, stick figureed waif)
Of a man: broad-shouldered and barrel-chested and often muscular (big and butch instead of a willowy pretty boy)
Of a woman: buxom and shapely, with broad hips and lots of sensuous, womanly curves (as opposed to a twiggy, androgynous, stick figureed waif)
Of a man: broad-shouldered and barrel-chested and often muscular (big and butch instead of a willowy pretty boy)
Kate Winslet, famously full-figured, once said "I'm not a twig and I refuse to be".
"Full-figured" does not mean "fat", per se, just a nicely filled and sensually shaped figure: nice, shapely legs; broad-shouldered and barrel-chested men; broad-hipped women generously endowed in the butt and breasts.
"Full-figured" does not mean "fat", per se, just a nicely filled and sensually shaped figure: nice, shapely legs; broad-shouldered and barrel-chested men; broad-hipped women generously endowed in the butt and breasts.
by Lorelili November 14, 2009
A complicated plot or scheme, often secret, intended for a purpose by some form of deception; a conspiracy.
The intrigue was heavy in the court as the various politicians and aristocrats plotted to kill the king and his two sons, leaving the throne empty.
by Lorelili January 17, 2011
(1516-1558) The only surviving child of Henry and Katherine of Aragon and half-sister of Elizabeth I. Henry's desperation to have a son as an heir led him to not only divorce and banish Katherine (making Mary a bastard) but also barred mother and daughter from each other until they acknowledged homewrecker Anne Boleyn as the true Queen, which they refused. When Katherine died in 1536, she had last seen her daughter over two years before.
Devastated at her mother's death, barred from her mother's funeral by Henry, and bearing a mutual hatred for Anne (who made Mary her daughter's maidservant), Mary's luck turned when Anne was put to death and her father married Jane Seymour, who was deeply loyal to Mary. Sadly, the birth of Edward VI killed Jane.
Constantly fearful for her life due to court intrigue and the new power of the Protestants of the court, Mary's solace was her Catholic faith, despite the friendship of Anne of Cleves.
Her fundamentalist Protestant brother, Edward, died in 1553, swallowing his misogyny to let his cousin, Lady Jane Grey, take the throne. Nine days later, Mary ejected her and became Queen Mary I.
Mary would wed Philip II of Spain (11 years her junior), suffer two phantom pregnancys, and become wildly unpopular for her persecution and execution of Protestants, earning her the nickname "Bloody Mary".
Devastated at her mother's death, barred from her mother's funeral by Henry, and bearing a mutual hatred for Anne (who made Mary her daughter's maidservant), Mary's luck turned when Anne was put to death and her father married Jane Seymour, who was deeply loyal to Mary. Sadly, the birth of Edward VI killed Jane.
Constantly fearful for her life due to court intrigue and the new power of the Protestants of the court, Mary's solace was her Catholic faith, despite the friendship of Anne of Cleves.
Her fundamentalist Protestant brother, Edward, died in 1553, swallowing his misogyny to let his cousin, Lady Jane Grey, take the throne. Nine days later, Mary ejected her and became Queen Mary I.
Mary would wed Philip II of Spain (11 years her junior), suffer two phantom pregnancys, and become wildly unpopular for her persecution and execution of Protestants, earning her the nickname "Bloody Mary".
By the time Henry died, Mary Tudor was a spinster of 31, sickly and angry. By then, she refused to associate with her brother and sister, whom she resented. Her father had married increasingly younger women (Katherine Howard was at least five years younger than Mary) while his eldest daughter, once his pride and joy, was kicked to the curb by her own father, was still unmarried; Mary must have thought in fury, "When will this bastard stop worrying about his future and worry about mine?!"
Mary Tudor has become known as "Bloody Mary" for her fundamentalist Catholic regime and merciless persecution of Protestants (she pursued Bishop Thomas Cranmer with particular cruelty, since he had destroyed her mother's marriage), although her father and sister were not exactly saints themselves and Henry was far bloodier.
Mary died in 1558 of cancer, a defeated and deeply disappointed woman. She had failed to restore England to the Catholic faith, her marriage to Philip was a travesty, and she failed to produce heirs.
"Mary, Mary, quite contrary/ How does your garden grow?/ With silver bells and cockle shells/ And pretty maids all in a row."
Mary Tudor has become known as "Bloody Mary" for her fundamentalist Catholic regime and merciless persecution of Protestants (she pursued Bishop Thomas Cranmer with particular cruelty, since he had destroyed her mother's marriage), although her father and sister were not exactly saints themselves and Henry was far bloodier.
Mary died in 1558 of cancer, a defeated and deeply disappointed woman. She had failed to restore England to the Catholic faith, her marriage to Philip was a travesty, and she failed to produce heirs.
"Mary, Mary, quite contrary/ How does your garden grow?/ With silver bells and cockle shells/ And pretty maids all in a row."
by Lorelili September 26, 2011