bag of wank

Receptacle, usually cheap, containing the spermatozoic issue from onanistic activity. Occasionally the cause of unwanted pregnancy in female garbage collectors who are exposed to its contents and then slip their contaminated fingers into their genital areas.
Quick - let me get rid of my bag of wank before the wife sees it. And hide that fucking magazine as well.
by Lord Jackson of Dribblespunk January 24, 2004
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wank

Wield the flesh baton to great orchestral effect.
Goodness me. Now I understand why Handel called it Water Music.
by Lord Jackson of Dribblespunk January 23, 2004
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S.T.D.

Acronym for Scintillatingly Titled Dictionary.
by Lord Jackson of Dribblespunk January 24, 2004
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pisser

Slang term often applied to men and women who experience sexual pleasure when urinating on their partners.
I'm Pisser Jackson - and you're very wet.
by Lord Jackson of Dribblespunk January 23, 2004
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Fart

An emission of methane from the anus which, when ignited, can cause great hilarity. Regarded by eco-types as an (admittedly noisome) solution to the environmental crisis.
Government Health Warning: Igniting your farts can seriously damage your balls.
by Lord Jackson of Dribblespunk October 15, 2006
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tits

What a woman has before she develops saggies.
They were once so firm!
by Lord Jackson of Dribblespunk January 23, 2004
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pissing contest

Term most famously used by President Lyndon B. Johnson, perhaps the most foul-mouthed senior politician in the history of the USA, who famously instructed us "not to get into a pissing contest with a polecat." Unfortunately, Johnson failed to take his own advice and embroiled American troops in Vietnam.
Given that I instructed my fellow Americans not to get into a pissing contest with a polecat, the sheer amount of urine on my business suit is a tad surprising.
by Lord Jackson of Dribblespunk December 02, 2004
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