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Loopydave's definitions

clown's pastie

An absolute disgusting crispy semen coverered bulbous labia example of a slags pastie aka a drunkards late night meal. Most likely diseased, and wears fake prada and orange makeup.
Rupert phoned the clinic with much hesitation about his blistered knob and his wife's clown's pastie
by Loopydave December 17, 2018
mugGet the clown's pastiemug.

dribbling clam

A sopping wet vagina, as wet as an otters pocket due to arousal. Not to be confused with venereal discharge.
After seeing Mary's dribbling clam, Rupert realised no extra lubrication was required.
by Loopydave January 17, 2011
mugGet the dribbling clammug.

rolled up phone book

An arse splittingly wide shit, usually the result of stuffing yourself the day before with kebab, steak, fine cheeses, etc... and dehydration caused by excess alcohol.
Rupert howled, when the morning after the pickles and cheese party he had to pass a rolled up phone book
by Loopydave May 12, 2020
mugGet the rolled up phone bookmug.

Brown Goliath

Rupert had to ask his wife Mary to inspect his anal sphincter for damage after heaving out a Brown Goliath that morning
by Loopydave October 24, 2019
mugGet the Brown Goliathmug.

googling rehabs session

A drink and/or drugs session so severe it the following afternoon you are shivering looking up local rehabs on google
Rupert realized things were getting quite out of hand after another googling rehabs session...
by Loopydave January 25, 2017
mugGet the googling rehabs sessionmug.

polish the lighthouse

The act of masturbating whilst in the bath, ideally with the waterline sitting right at the base of your cock.
Whist Mary was away at bingo Rupert took the opportunity to bathe and polish the lighthouse
by Loopydave August 18, 2018
mugGet the polish the lighthousemug.

yodeling starfish

Rupert was horrified when he went to eat Mary out at being greeted by a yodeling starfish just centimeters from his face
by Loopydave February 12, 2020
mugGet the yodeling starfishmug.

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