4 definitions by Lil Oof Dick

To be fucked in the anus by a nigger named Barnard. Pretty nice fellow if I do say so myself.
Guy 1: Yo my ass is so sore, I got fuckin barnarded last night!
by Lil Oof Dick May 23, 2019
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The most incredible guy you'll ever meet. He probably has beautiful blue eyes that you get lost in. He's the PERFECT combination of cute, adorable, funny, hot, attractive, & is overall incredibly amazing. Once you meet him, you'll never want to let him go. And rightly so. No other guy in this entire universe could ever compare to the love and care he'll bring to your heart. Every time you see Bruce's lovely smile or hear his perfect laugh, your heart will be filled with joy and your brain will race around in circles. Bruce is the right guy to spend the rest of your life with. He will respect you and defend you, along with your kids & pets. He has outstanding looks and an outstanding personality. Bruce's hands and warm hug will embrace you in a world full of love and a universe full of memories that last forever. Even if you and Bruce get into fights, big or small, he will always be there. That's just a small fraction of what makes him so much different from the rest. Most guys will be dicks and leave you over the small things. Bruce, however, is so kind and caring. He is understanding and will always care for you more than you can ever imagine. There may be times when it seems like he hates you, but I promise that no matter what happens Bruce will always stay by your side. And that's just a small part of why I love him. Everything is too much to put into here. No words in any language could ever describe how much I am truly in love with this amazingly breathtaking person.
Girlfriend: Bruce is so fucking adorable. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him, surprising him with all the gifts and love in the world. Which he deserves.

Bruce: I love you.

Girlfriend: I love you more, I'm always here for you.
by Lil Oof Dick July 31, 2018
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This egotistical dude thinks he's better than everyone. Vapes 24/7 and has 19293020 pairs of yeezys. has tons of pussies and bitches but still can't get a good girlfriend. attends a shitty ass school and doesn't know how to use english or understand grammar, this dude has a literal 1 inch dick. a small tiny lil dick that dumbass hoes like for some reason. stacks mad cash on dumb hoes. hes a rich white boi but cant afford a good car. never turst elis. NEVER TRUST ELI'S.
guy 1: aye eli can i hit your vape

eli: nah bro u aint got the cash
by Lil Oof Dick December 7, 2018
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THE SMALLEST, TEENIEST, SHORTEST MICROSCOPIC THING THE HUMAN EYE WILL EVER FUCKING SEE IN THIS ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE. HELL, THIS DICK IS SO FUCKING SMALL, MICROSCOPES CAN'T EVEN DETERMINE THAT THIS THING EVEN EXISTS. (How do we know?) WELL, IT SPREADS FUCKING HERPES, AIDS, CANCER, AND HEPATITIS C TO EVERY LIVING CREATURE IT TOUCHES. THAT'S HOW WE KNOW THIS FUCKING CANCER CELL DISEASE EXISTS. FURTHERMORE, YOU MIGHT BE ASKING WHAT WE SHOULD DO TO RID EARTH OF THIS HORRID MONSTER. HERE'S THE FUCKING SOLUTION: CHOP OFF ITS HEAD AND FEED IT TO A BUNCH OF PIGS DURING A SATANIC RITUAL. THEN BURN THEM ALL TO PREVENT THE SPREAD. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET RID OF BRUCE'S DICK. IT IS THE SMALLEST AND MOST DEADLIEST ANIMAL OUT THERE.

- With lots of love, Hailey
Guy 1: Whoa dude, what's that horrible disease you have?

Guy 2: Turns out I got a case of "Bruce's Dick." It's fucking horrible, man.
by Lil Oof Dick July 30, 2018
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