Kung-Fu Jesus's definitions

Haute couture

Fench for high sewing, refering to the quality of clothes. The term is ambigous. In some circles, it refers strictly to clothes manufactured in Paris, where use of the term is governed, but late in the last century it has been extended to include the produce of houses in other large cities around the world.

Haute couture is always to be pronounced in a french accent, to appease the needs of glitterati.


Haute couture poker

by Kung-fu Jesus July 6, 2004

net realisable value

The price of a sellable item (highest at which it can be sold at) less the cost of bringing it to the point of sale (repairs, delivery etc.)

The computer is worth £X, but repairing it will cost £Y, and delivery costs and admin will be £Z.


Net realisable value is £X-(Y+Z)

by Kung-fu Jesus July 6, 2004

net present value

Money has a time value, net present value is future cashflows brought back to today's value against a discount factor (11% is standard), minus the initial investment. If the net present value of cumulative cashflows is positive, then the project should be accepted, unless a more profitable investment is also availiable.

To calculate the NPV of an investment, one must know the discount factor, cost of investment and expected incomes (based off accurate data)

by Kung-fu Jesus July 6, 2004

jet lag

The effects of having to quickly become accustomed to routine in another time zone and also of altitude changes. Causes fatigue.

Jet lag is an expected scapegoat for laziness, or a sports team fucking up

by Kung-fu Jesus July 6, 2004

speculate to accumulate

A phrase used by potential profiteers to remind prospective investors that returns can only come from good investment. Really a buzzword (or buzzphrase) to get money from others to squander on fruitless and flowerly ideas. See European union, Belgium.

"Speculate to accumulate!" cried John, asking steve for the last crispy notes in his wallet. Eyeing up the tail at the bar, steve gladly turned over the contents of his wallet to John, who promptly brought the ladies a drink each. After some thirty minutes, John threw up over one of the fine females, making the money a write off due to his poor ability to handle drink. Steve's brother then started to insult one of the lasses, and they stormed off.

by Kung-fu Jesus July 6, 2004

hello moto

(v.) The act of taking pictures of an extra-marital affair with a cameraphone, and showing the snapshots to the partner whilst repeating 'hello moto' in a japanese accent.

I personally enjoy smashing mobile phones with mallets stolen from the house at the other end of the road (teach him to leave his garages and tool shed open when he goes out).

by Kung-fu Jesus July 6, 2004

wheelchair anarchist

(n.) A person, usually male between the ages of 25 and 50 (but often over 50) who believes the government is out to get him. Constantly complains, whines and makes false and slanderous comments about politicians, owns several firearms, and vehemently anti-nazi, and will blindly follow any cause to the death, unaware of the eventual consequences of thier cause prevailing (which they know it never will). Believes that thier lack of education and hatred for 'the rich' and 'the authorities' is compensated by thier age, experience, stubborn beliefs, "common sense", ignorance of past statistics (though they often manipulate facts and figures to suit thier cause) and the fact that they can convince children of thier beliefs. Schooled in any arguement by even teenagers who actually know what they are talking about, and are learnéd in the matter. When beaten in a debate by a much younger person, they will claim that the person has been 'reading too many magazine that are full of what THEY want you to hear', which basically means you are smarter than they are, but they will claim everything you said is a lie because you have attained it from an unreliable source.

The name is a reference to the fact they will claim to have practical experience, but it always seems to be so long ago (giving them an excuse for getting facts wrong).


Usually from a working class background, and often located in the north of england (although many still from the united states), and generally in the upper qaurtile of the age range. Adored by pseudo-intellectuals and poser anarchists alike. Likely to either be very athiest, or deeply christian. Openly homophobic or homosexual.

"If the government wants my guns, they can take my ammunition first" said the wheelchair anarchist before rolling off 100 more cliché catchphrases.

by Kung-fu Jesus July 6, 2004