KuNg-fu jeSUS's definitions

ossie

How Argos catalogue spelled Ozzy

Ossie osbourne alarm clock

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 4, 2004

zulu

A huge tribe of 30,000 warriors who inhabited Zululand, which is in present day South Africa. The British army decided to conquer zululand, and setup small garrisons of troops to scout it. These were massacred by the Zulu's, and so enraged, the Mighty British Empire rained its' fury on the tribesmen. For several weeks the Zulu tribes laid low, hoping to evade detection. But some 1,200 British Troops and 300 tag-alongs (peaceful natives, soldiers wives etc.) were cut off by water and decided to camp in territory the zulu's were watching. Overnight, the Zulu's gathered and sent 7,000 soldiers onto the camp, killing all but a handful of tag-alongs who escaped when they heard screaming. The Zulu took thier guns and marched on Rorke's Drift, a small military hosital. Rorke's drift was manned by 97 ready soldiers, housed 36 wounded, 14 helpful natives five officers and two lieutenants, one of which was new to the area. They recieved news of the impending Zulu attack, but the new liuetenant demanded that they stay to defend the hospital and chapel. A passing preacher intimidated the natives to throw down thier guns and leave, because of the extreme odds. With Just 141 soldiers (One of the tag-alongs rushed to help them) they took on 4,500 Zulu warriors, 1,200 of which were armed and killed 2,500 Zulus. In comparison, 15 British died on the day, and 8 later died of battle wounds before the Zulu's saluted fellow braves and left. Rorke's Drift signalled the unparalled training of the British amry, but also that the Zulu army, which had impressive capabilities, wouldn't even last until 1880 (Rorke's drift was 22nd-23rd January 1879). Eventually, the Zulu army had to surrender, and became the exploit of the rich. Zulu tribesmen still inhabit South Africa's east coast and centre, but are no longer the dominating force.

The British have much to thank the Zulu for. What was the most impossible military victory ever occured against the zulu, and allowed the victors to return home instilling a strong sense of national pride.

by Kung-Fu Jesus April 30, 2004

break it down

(v.) to simplify for those unlikely to understand.

Let me break mass production Vs Quality control for ya...


Mass production= passable quality, affordable by everyone.

High standards of Quality Control= good quality, double priced, but only 10% can afford

Therefore out of 100 sales, 90x1 will go to mass production, while 10x2 will go to the financially privelged.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 2, 2004

go play in the road

An expression of anger towards a person or persons, indicating you would like them to leave.

Take your toys and go play in the road, idiot.

by Kung-fu Jesus July 30, 2004

lotus

(n.) British brand of small sports car, usually driven by women. 0-60 in about 5 seconds, the best handling ever all for the price of a cheap maercedes. Downside is that they usually devalue quickly because of shoddy manufacturing, and become a burden to keep running after ten years.

The Lotus Esprit s1 went underwater in the 007 movie.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 9, 2004

Muay Thai

A martial art that is all very well and good until you face anyone more than 30 pounds heavier than you, at which point your speedy light blows happen to be useless, and you will have your ass reamed.

That 120 pound grand champion took on a 150 pound kid and lost.

by Kung-Fu Jesus April 23, 2004

Doggy Fizzle Televizzle

A ridiculous "comedy" that will quite likely be named "worst tv show ever" within ten years. Racist and retarded. Snoop should've stuck to rap; sketch shows aren't his thing.

Naff Naff Naff, said the dog, after watching doggy fizzle.

by Kung-Fu Jesus April 28, 2004