Kaneisabottler's definitions

Pionel Pessi

An Argentinian pillager and pen merchant that visits the homegrounds of Spanish relegation teams to rob three points from them by scoring penalties. Nothing else he does is very notable, as he has a habit for disappearing for months at a time and only re-emerging to score pens against Eibar.

Born and raised in Eibar, my grandfather used to tell me stories about Pionel Pessi.

by Kaneisabottler August 2, 2021

Ter Static

A German goalkeeper which does not like to move when he is about to concede a goal, but prefers to remain static and casually let the ball go in. Synonymous with Ter Spastic.

Remember when Ter Static conceded eight goals in one match?

by Kaneisabottler August 2, 2021

Benched

To be left out of the starting lineup without playing in a sport. Synonymous with 'Donny van de Beek'.

That Dutch guy for Man United got benched again.

by Kaneisabottler August 2, 2021

Lewandisney

A Polish fraud who can only win Mickey Mouse trophies in a Farmers League.

I can't believe it took a worldwide pandemic for Lewandisney to actually win a UCL.

by Kaneisabottler August 2, 2021

Fatcho

An overrated English winger that plays for the football club Penchester United. What he lacks in skill, he makes up for in his weight.

Why would Penchester United waste so much money on Fatcho?

by Kaneisabottler August 6, 2021

Varane

Michael Hunter Hutter's (aka Ethan Carter III) long lost brother. He plays professional football but can hardly be considered as professional himself based on how bad he is at defending.

Maybe Varane would have a more successful career doing wrestling rather than football.

by Kaneisabottler August 6, 2021

fuck

very bad word dont say it or you will get in trouble

im about to say fuck. fuck. no i got intro trouble now

by Kaneisabottler August 6, 2021