Definitions by Judas Cross

Protein Scanner

A small battery-operated ultraviolet light one uses to find semen stains in hotel room beddings. The use of the word PROTEIN incorporates a humorous euphemism.

We realized the maid had skipped changing the sheets, but my PROTEIN SCANNER found the evidence of a rendezvous the previous night.

Protein Scanner by Judas Cross June 8, 2020

Voyeur Blocker 

The little cover you put over your webcam to stop hackers from spying on you.

He hacked her webcam, but he couldn’t see anything because she had her voyeur blocker up.

Voyeur Blocker by Judas Cross March 20, 2020

Tart Wash 

Washing only pits and pussy.

Time was of the essence, so she settled for a tart wash.

Tart Wash by Judas Cross March 16, 2020