Definitions by Joe Zarthon

Tether the blimp 

When a dirty, overweight, sex starved woman hovers around you so much it leaves you with no other option than to fuck her brains out.

Dude, ‘Bama was all over Turtle at the party so he had to tether the blimp.

Tether the blimp by Joe Zarthon September 13, 2006

Angry Schneiderman 

While you girlfriend (or wife) has fallen asleep after promising you a blow job yet again, you sit next to her and jerk off while she sleeps. After you nut in your hand you fling it in her face and yell "Wake up bitch!".

Dude, my woman fell asleep on the couch AGAIN so I gave her an Angry Schneiderman!

Angry Schneiderman by Joe Zarthon May 23, 2006