1 definition by Jneedee

Clipboarder

An individual, usually a woman, who holds a clipboard for purposes superficially attached with their vocation and to justify their own existence. Often described as "frumpy"; middle-aged with unkempt hair put up in a bun of circa 1950's hairstyle, horn-rimmed glasses with chain attached, and most commonly, a perma-frown. A pen is often attached to the clipboard via a filthy line of once white string - possibly of the Aunt Flow variety. What's on the clipboard has never reportedly been seen - but presumably a checklist of some sort. In fact the clipboard is intended to intimidate onlookers or subjects and has been rumoured to hold the latest Soap Opera Digest or Yarn Monthly. This person practices safe sex by not indulging in it at all and usually can't remember their sexual orientation or the last time they shaved their legs. They have spent months in training on how to peer over employees' shoulders while they are trying to work and have been known to spend time with ESP professionals such as The Amazing Kreskin to develop the ability to ruin your concentration simply by staring at the back of your head. These unwanted guests speak very little but can communicate by the tapping of a pen or a simple, "hmmmph" or "I see...". The only way to be rid of them is to ask them to go to your car in the parking lot to fetch a copy of the latest Regulations, and promptly lock the door behind them and call the police.
They have been known to analyze flush frequency in bathroom stalls.

Ministry Office:
Customer: "who's the clipboarder behind you?"
Sam: "I don't know but she handed me toilet paper when I went to the ladies room earlier."

Customer: "My stuff ready?"
Tracey: "If I ain't done no stuff then this frock wearing Clipboarding Ho behind me to blame for harassing my brain waves with her mofo Kreskin stare down back-a-my-head, you know what I'm saying Mr. #68?"
Customer: "I'm #69. "
Tracey: "Get back in line!"

by Jneedee March 27, 2012