Jake 's definitions

booswigger

alcoholic, someone whos always drinking

1. you are being too loud.
shut up booswigger ur drunk.
2. lookit that there booswigger sue-may-jim-bob, he looks a tad intoxicated.

by jake May 13, 2005

masturbate

1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.

The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement

by Jake April 22, 2005

cum shot

What comes out of your dick when you're having an orgasm

I squirted a cumshot on my girlfriend's tits right after I fucked her

by Jake February 16, 2003

Slim Shadey

A stringy form of diarrhea.

My digestive system was so fucked up that I crapped out a slim shady every thirty minutes.

by Jake February 26, 2003

fluffy puff marshmallows

Homestar Runner's favorite food. He advertises them, but does not do a very good job of it. The mascot of Fluffy Puff Marshmallows is a marshmallow named Marshie.

"You best be eating a whole mess of Fluffy Puff Marshmallows!"

by Jake August 14, 2003

blueballs

a condition where your balls (testicles) ache. Occurs after a few days of abstinance or after being very sexually aroused for a period of time without coming to orgasm.

I've got blueballs today, I haven't blown a load in 5 days.

My live-in was just playin' with me last night; when I was ready to mount her she said no and went to sleep! I got sooo blueballed I jerked off on her back.

by Jake February 20, 2004

sex/baseball analog

the everlasting sexual bases metaphor. The best way to remember them is the four "F"s: French, Feel, Finger, Fuck.

first: the first step in a sexual relationship kissing with an open mouth or using tongue (french kissing)

first and a half base: under the shirt, bra still on

second: one step up from first base, heavy petting and feeling up while making out,direct oral or manual stimulation of a partner's breast/nipple, up the shirt or shirtless for both partners.

shortstop: in baseball, the shortstop is the field position between second and third base. So, in fooling around, shortstop is being masturbated by or masturbating your partner, as that's between feeling up and oral sex.

third base: the last base before penetration sex, entailing contact with the main sexual regions, a handjob or a blowjob (fellatio) for guys and fingering or giving head (cunnilingus) to the girl

home base: reaching home base or fourth base is consumating the relationship by having vaginal sex, making love or fucking

NOTE:first or second base can be achieved concurrently with dry humping, considered third base when oral or manual stimulation occurs to genitals.

"Margo finally let her boyfriend get to shortstop, but she used way too much lotion and he came on her shirt."

"We finally reached home base last night! Thankfully he had a condom on him because we were so horny we couldn't wait any longer"

by Jake March 5, 2004