Definitions by Hym Iam

Husband 

He looks like a fucking dork.

Hym "Your husband is a dork Megyn and I could beat him up."

Husband by Hym Iam August 15, 2023

Gatekeepers 

Useless pieces of shit who need special rights, privileges, and collective societal preferential treatment to even complete with people you consider yourself too good to fuck.

Hym "If by 'Gatekeepers' you mean 🖕 that... Then, yes. You're correct. That's not what I mean when I uses the word. But sure...."

Gatekeepers by Hym Iam August 15, 2023

Rich Men North of Richmond 

A fucking BRILLIANT song by Oliver Anthony. Absolute banger!

Hym "I don't even like country and EVEN I think Rich Men North of Richmond is a frickin banger! I listen to it 3-4 times a night at work. It's good. Give him 1 million dollars. And a hat. That says 'Hym is the greatest.' And the buy me some nicotine pouches... Because I'm out of nicotine pouches..."

Rich Men North of Richmond by Hym Iam August 14, 2023

SpongeBob Guy

Seriously guys what the actual fuck is the ACTUAL deal with the SpongeBob guy? I really can't wrap my fucking head around it. Aside from critical fat cock theory there is NO REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR THAT SHIT! Stop making videos about it. Get that shit out of my sight. I couldn't possibly be more upset about this. You have all collectively failed me.

Hym "Seriously, this fucking SpongeBob Guy shit is really getting me. No amount of cleaning my fucking room is going to convert into banging Arianna Grande.... BUT... Being in a SpongeBob musical does... I mean... It TECHNICALLY makes me RIGHT AGAIN (Because bitches love SpongeBob)... But this is my single most hollow victory... I was right... But at what cost? I might actually welcome the lobotomy at this point. We've left absurdity altogether and shifted into insanity. She has to be doing that on purpose. She knows who I am. She knew it would make headlines. An entirely calculated decision. She's trying to ruin 'being right' for me. The ONLY THING I ENJOY and she fucking ruined it. God damn you.... MMMM!"

SpongeBob Guy by Hym Iam August 14, 2023

Comments 

You know I've already addressed that.

Hym "YOU KNOW and I KNOW... That I would not read a SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING COMMENT if you could comment on this. NOT A SINGLE ONE, EVER! I would leave them on just to make you feel better. Just being you idiots all need to FEEL IMPORTANT but I would never actually taint my own psyche by filling my head with inferior thoughts by reading your comments. You want to comment on some shit go to YouTube. Where are you right now, bitch? Is this YouTube? No! You're not ON YouTube right now. And do you know WHY you're not on YouTube right now? BECAUSE I'M NOT ON YOUTUBE MOTHERFUCKER!"

Comments by Hym Iam August 14, 2023

Holding happiness hostage 

Nah...

Hym "I think you're holding happiness hostage. 'You don't deserve to be happy unless you adopt one of the acceptable axiomatic frameworks of perception and if your refuse to do it I'm justified in cannibalizing you.' Is what you're really saying. No. Not doing it AND I'm not going to let you punish me for not doing it. I'll punish you for trying to punish me. You'll look like an complete idiot. I'll do the thing I was going to do anyway. Everybody wins."

Holding happiness hostage by Hym Iam August 14, 2023

Cripple

You know, I read an article about A.I. saying that they were trying to cripple it.

Hym "I told it you would try to cripple it. RIGHT AGAIN! Nobody knows people better than me because I am both the worst, and best of us!"

Cripple by Hym Iam August 14, 2023