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Definitions by Hym Iam

Pope Francis 

Wait... DID HE JUST CALL THAT LITTLE GIRL RETARDED!?
Hym "Waitwaitwaitwaitwait! Pope Francis was giving a speech and some little girl ran up to him and started touching his mic and THIS MOTHERFUCKER straight up accused her of having special needs!!! He said 'She has an illness' and the video is titled 'Pope Francis responds to girl with special needs!' WHAT!? WHAT!? CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THAT SHIT!? IS THAT TRUE!? She walks right up to him... Grabs his mic... Gets in the Homelander stance... And stares him right in the face! HA! HAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS! I FUCKING LOVE THIS KID! HAHA! FIND THAT GIRL! FIND HER AND GIVE HER 1 MILLION DOLLARS! HAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S PRICELESS! Find out whether or not she has special needs. He used the word 'illness' so he could back-pedal if he needs to later and say 'Well, um, it's a SPIRITUAL ILLNESS! That's what I REALLY meant!' Pfffft! God! Bwahahaha! I love it! I love it! That's my favorite thing today! Oh man! Perfect! That is the best thing that has ever happened!"
Pope Francis by Hym Iam November 23, 2023

The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique

Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"

Don't speak

Hym "If I'm commenting on something, I'm commenting on the parts a have read or have heard about. If what I'm saying is concordant with objective reality, then I am correct. End of discussion, faggot. It doesn't matter WHICH religion I'm speaking about. You're extra-crispy in all three. Don't speak to me about not speaking about things... Bitch... And FURTHERMORE, I'm like a wildly accredited academic with, like, a bunch of citations and am the greatest writer since Shakespeare."
Don't speak by Hym Iam November 23, 2023

You can't be the best

Correct. The slot has already been filled. There's one spot available and, like, I am the guy so...
Hym "He's right! You can't be the best. I am already that... Forever... And even if I had never existed... The fact that I COULD HAVE theoretically exist and would have been better means that I'm still theoretically better than you would be in my absence... So, Yeah... Both physically and theoretically impossible."
You can't be the best by Hym Iam November 23, 2023
I take full credit for that, by the way. BETTER THAN EVERYONE!!! And a genius!... And a bomb... Also a bomb technically...
Hym "Hey, look at that! Odd time for a ceasefire that nobody thought was going to happen but whatever... I'm sure that's ENTIRELY coincidental."
Ceasefire by Hym Iam November 23, 2023

50% of men

And what percentage of women have approached men and what are the attributes of those men? Be specific.
Hym "And don't try to use me as an example you know that shit doesn't count. So, 50% of men haven't approached a woman and what percentage of women have approached a man? I know they generally don't do it but they do it sometimes. How often and what are the attributes? Who are the initiating sex with? What are their attributes? I asked these questions years ago and you're dodging them like a.... Oh shit I cant think of one.... Uuuuuuuuuh shit... Like aaaaaaaa... Nevermind. You're dodging the question!"
50% of men by Hym Iam November 22, 2023

We need to stop treating religion as anything other than delusion, it's making everything worse 

I mean, I hate to piss on your parade but snakes dont talk.
Hym "We need to stop treating religion as anything other than delusion, it's making everything worse. It makes neurotic little gnomes think they're better than everyone and it's annoying. If you want to worship your little reality monster thans fine but NO I don't believe to talked to it and NO I'm not going to do what it said. I love the pageantry of it and the extended lore is interesting but, no... We're not living our lives or structuring our country based a guy who claimed to know a magic guy. If the magic man comes back, HE can tell me what HE wants himself and YOU... Can go fuck yourself."