Hym Iam's definitions

Elon's kids

One of them IS trans and hates him and he named one after a plane... And not "named after a plane" like "Boeing" or something (because even that isn't an unreasonable thing to name someone) but "A-12" like... X Æ A-12... Retarded... It's a retarded then to do. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!? And here is how I would bully him: Use his name to address him but add 1 to it every time I talk to him. Oh! And one died in his babymama's arms and he lied about it publicly to garner sympathy in spite of the fact that he wasn't even there. He's not the champion of your kids.

Elon's kids "Mommy, why is my name a symbol and numbers instead of an actual name?"

Mommy "Well... Um... Uh... Daddy is... Retarded... Daddy's retarded... And... And I'm dumb as dogshit. It was a stupid thing to do. We should have changed it before you were old enough to realize what we did to you but... You know... Retarded..."

Elon's kids "But they call me X Æ A-69 now..."

Mommy "Yeah, it's- This is a simulation... That- Don't worry about- Just... Just go play with your brother-sister...."

X Æ A-5138008 ☹️

Hym "Waitwaitwait! You should change it to 'Truckazord' Pft! Nononono wait, 'Flabbergasted' change it to 'Flabbergasted' that's a good name, right? 'Flabbergasted' Oooooooh... You know what? How about *Disgruntled groan*? How's it spelled? 'UuUuUuUuGh!'Exclamation-point and all. NO! WAIT! THIS IS IT! 32⁰ South! And then!
😌☝️ THEN, we have it marry Ye's kid and take HER name (because we're progressive) And then he'll be 32⁰ South West! Call him... ₩¡/\/Ğ/\/ů+ like the old font? Remember? Leper-shaun the Leprechaun Musk. There's hoping that he will both have leprosy and be a dwarf... And his name will be shaun... Uuuuuuummmm... Nothing I can say here is worse than his actual name... Hmmmm... CitizenSquirtleTTV..."

by Hym Iam June 17, 2023

Malignant Narcissism

Oh? You did a study to confirm the thing that I saw with my naked eye? And I was CORRECT AGAIN? Hohohohoho! I got them good brains baby! At a correlation of .6 no less!?

Hym "Hooooooooooo-MAN! Look at all this malignant narcissism I saw years before the most accomplished psychologist on the planet! Wow I must be some kind of genius! Great job me! Wooooooooo!"

by Hym Iam June 17, 2023

Energy

Yes. Energy. Shit, Bill Hicks says "We are the universe experiencing itself" and stoners think it's the most profound shit anyone has ever said. All the Tool loving dorks nut in their own pants. But I say that "you" are the current of energy that rolls across your skull-steak as you think rather than the meat and it's preposterous somehow.

Hym "No, hey, don't say 'energy' like that I know it's vague I haven't fleshed it out yet. You sound like Matt... And not your Matt the other Matt... But yes. Energy. You (LIKE the universe but not AS the universe) are a 'potential guy' being actualized by way of biological mechanism and sensory data... Over time... Or something... I'll get there. This is a thing! I'm sure of it. Your being is comprised of the potential reality that comprises everything else. FOR EXAMPLE! Imagine the universe stops expanding. Time stops. Everything this frozen in space. You now have a finite sphere of spacetime-reality. The analogy the atheists always use is 'it's like bread raising in an oven'. Now go to the edge. Now go AN INCH out from the edge... What's there? What occupies the NOT-space that exists just outside of this finite sphere of spacetime? You could say 'Nothing' but can it even BE 'nothing?' It MUST be (at the very least) 'potential spacetime-reality.' Right? Because in whatever unit of time you would attribute to the universe expanding 1 inch it will (as a matter of absolute certainty) BECOME SPACETIME-REALITY as soon as you restart the expansion of the universe. So, yeah, ontologically real wellspring of potential reality that is actualizing itself. Is it intentional or does it just do that? I don't know. But it seems pretty reality-monstery to me."

by Hym Iam June 19, 2023

Choice

AHA! THERE'S THE REAL ARGUMENT! So... It's not that you even care whether or not it IS a life... Your need to be the arbiter of life and death is more important that life itself. I think you should be forced to give the guy the blood. ESPECIALLY if you're the one who stabbed him. I THINK if I was a 3rd party in THAT SPECIFIC EXAMPLE I think it would be immoral for me to NOT force you to give the guy you stabbed your blood.

Hym "And, obviously, there is, like, a gradient of how justifiable it is to force you to give a guy your blood. YOU stabbing the guy is obviously on the extremely justifiable end whereas arbitrarily forcing you to donote blood would be on the unjustifiable end. Honestly, if it was one of my brothers (or something) I wouldn't even care if you had to die for me to get that sweet, SWEET carcass-juice out of that hot little body of yours. Shit, if I have a favorable option of the guy you stabbed I might even kill a 4th party to get that shit out of you. I just genuinely think that it's a choice that you need to justify. And I DO think it's justifiable... On a gradient..."

by Hym Iam June 19, 2023

God

And God is a guy taking credit for something he didn't do...

Some guy "Hey man, you ever wonder who made everything?"

Some other guy "Uuuum-I did that... Yep... I did that waaaaaaaay back in the day. Before you were even a guy."

The first guy "Awshitnoway for real!?"

God "Yeah dawg... Yup... It was me."

Dawg "No fuckin way bro that is sick! That must have taken a long time."

God "Nah Dawg, that shit only took 7 days. Nah, 6 days. I took a nap the 7th day."

Dawg "Damn bro... That's nuts."

God "Right? Yeah, so I'm going to need you to burn down Sodom and Gomorrah."

Dawg "What?"

God "Yeah, I'm not about any of that shit. Go. Grab another guy. Go get Abraham and tell him we're going to burn down the city."

Dawg "Aw well shit man... I guess I'd better do that then..."

God "Yeah I will burn your soul forever if you don't!"

Dawg "Oho! Man, ouch! Doesn't sound fun. Alright... I'll tell Michael about the you making everything in 7 days shit though. You're a dope guy man. Thanks for all the stuff."

God "Yeah, we'll kill the canaanites next. Oh, and this is my son Jesus and he's better than everyone forever."

Dawg "Aw cool, bye Jesus!" *Walks away*

by Hym Iam June 19, 2023

Uncivil Protests

Here's why they are dumb...

Hym "Right but the problem with your uncivil protests is that the government doesn't give a shit if Wal-Mart's windows get busted because 'ThEy HaVe InSuRaNcE!' The people you collectively have a problem with aren't the ones paying the price for your discontent because you aren't even GOING TO WHERE THEY ARE. And now that you've framed protesting AT THE ACTUAL PLACE WHERE THE PEOPLE YOU ARE PROTESTING ARE as an 'Insurrection' and 'violence bad' the people responsible for the collective discontent are never even affected by the thing you're doing to other people who are not them. It's like a peasant revolt where the peasants burn down everything EXCEPT FOR THE KING'S CASTLE and then just go home. It doesn't work. What are you going to do? Replace the guy who says he believes the things you believe with another guy who claims to believe what you believe? 2 or 4 years from now? That's already been happening. 'If OnLy It WaSn'T fOr ThE oThEr GuY!' you'll perpetually cry but YOU'RE already were you are. You're an object in motion. So, it doesn't really matter is it doesn't work. But you know what does work (and I'm not advocating for this) 100% of the time? The threat of hammer clowns. In theory. They are the only thing keeping us safe. Hammer clowns and the threat of hammer clowns. Just look at Afghanistan. Their hammer clowns won and now they need new hammer clowns or be ruled by taliban indefinitely. If only they were amenable to reason.... Hmm... Tragic... Oh well..."

by Hym Iam June 19, 2023

Included

I do enjoy being included though... But I detest the manner in which it's happening... I'm glad I was able to insanely ramble my way into your hearts.... And I'm glad Todd decided to up the stakes... This was a good plan...

Hym "And I'm glad you all decided to engage in my little ultra-specific ethical dilemma with life-threatening implications... And Goddamnit Sam, it's more than just the 2! Alright!? Not all of them are the 2 you're talking about and most of them are dope. Ok? You know what underlying meta-narrative HASN'T gotten put to screen? Minimum wage employee guy believes he is being watched and made reference to by people he's never met who shouldn't know the things to which they are referring. Plot twist, he's right! It's a psychological thriller about a man imprisoned in his own mind. THAT is the one interpretation of events that no one ever seems to want to acknowledge. I wonder why that is? What could it possibly be? Ah shit, I forgot to use the word 'included.' There. I've included the word 'included.' Ok... We're done here... Good... Yeah... Alright........................ Okie dokie....."

by Hym Iam June 21, 2023