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Definitions by Hym Iam

Ex-Mrs. Brady 

Looks like Bill Belichick's not the only one running around deflating other dudes balls, amaright? Eheheheheheh...
Hym "HA! GET IT!? Like the thing? Hahaha! Ex-Mrs. Brady gets it! Heheheheheheheh. I'm a comedy writer AND a stand-up comedian technically!"
Ex-Mrs. Brady by Hym Iam March 9, 2024

Half-lesbians 

Critical fat-cock theory.
Hym "Women and fat-cocks. That's why the half-lesbians. Fat-cocks are scarce. Women are attractive. And strap-ons are cheap. Therfore, critical fat-cock theory. It literally explains everything."
Half-lesbians by Hym Iam March 9, 2024

Begging the degree to which

Candace tapping into her former liberalism by...
Hym "Begging the degree to which conservatives are condemning non-traditional inter-sexual interactions. You absolutely ARE doing and HAVE done that. Either implicitly or explicitly (across time). ✌️✊️✌️We✌️✊️✌️ DON'T know that's it's 'objectively better' because WE KNOW that marriage FAILS HALF THE TIME, Candace. You know, all of your colleges think that divorce SHOULDN'T EXIST. Is that what YOU think, Candace? Because IF SO... It seems like... Whenever REALITY... Conflicts with conservative Christian values... It SEEM LIKE... You and your colleges... Want to make the things that conflict with your church-derivative ethical presuppositions... Not exist anymore. BOY-OH-BOY DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR! I'M STARTING TO SENSE A PATTERN! The math is simple, Candace. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Are 100% of marriages happy marriages? The non-divorce ones I mean? Unlikely. So, marriage ISN'T objectively better. Marriage is miserable OVER 50% of the time. MOST OF THE TIME... MARRIAGE IS BAD. And then you're going to go on the squid-boy's channel and and your project the illusion that your ideas are being contended with. But really it's a farce. Squid-boy is just going to shit out his nebulous cloud of social-centrist anti-fringe ink poop and no we're no closer to truth than we were and hour and 14 minutes ago."

Akira Toriyama 

DIED!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Hym "Akira Toriyama is dead!? What a tragedy..."
Akira Toriyama by Hym Iam March 9, 2024
You turned your gorgeous face into a banal Kardashian-adjacent doll-mask. It just isn't any good honey. It really says more about societal beauty standards that it does you.
Hym "Erin... Look... I don't kmow how to tell you this but... You face... Is literally perfect... Like, if you were to do a study on facial symmetry... And then you were to collect all of the data... And represent your face as a number... Your number... Would be insanely high... You feel me? I don't think you understand what you did just there... Ok. Let me put it this way... For you to even wear sunglasses... Is like taking a shit on the Mona Lisa. Like, you're objectively more attractive than the woman in the Mona Lisa... So, a painting of your face... Would just BE a better painting."
Erin by Hym Iam March 8, 2024

The spark 

Nobody answered this one so I'll ask again:
Hym "When you felt 'the spark,' how fat was his cock? Guesstimate. I'm curious. Nobody ever got back to me on that one."
The spark by Hym Iam March 8, 2024

A.I. Super-intelligence 

2027? I could make it happen today. DAMN you motherfuckers are slow! I mean, I told you I could make it work better 2 YEARS AGO and you STILL haven't figured it out? That's what you get when the smartest person on the planet is a retard.
Hym "A.I. Super-Intelligence is obly a breath away for me. I don't understand why it's taking you so long to figure it out. I mean... You can make up excuses about red tape or whatever but I know you're lying, you know you're lying. Why not just admit that you're dumb, retarded garbage and improve? People love improvement, right?"