Hym Iam's definitions
What prison did I go to? Oh, I don't know, what do they call the place they send you when you don't get caught committing crimes because you're not a fucking retard? Not that I commit crimes. I don't even speed.
Hym "I don't know. You tell me prison expert? What's the name of that prison? Where they send the people they haven't caught committing any crimes? What do they call it? 'Not a second-class citizen penitentiary?' Is that it? Hey, which prison did we go to?"
Iam "Ummmm... We didn't."
Hym "Oh! Right! I guess the prison expert wouldn't know the name of it then."
Iam "Ummmm... We didn't."
Hym "Oh! Right! I guess the prison expert wouldn't know the name of it then."
by Hym Iam October 2, 2023
Get the Prisonmug. Hym "Retard? Worthy. Me? Not worthy. Amd that's what you're really pushing for. Who is or is not worthy (socially or otherwise) should be decided by women."
by Hym Iam June 17, 2024
Get the Not worthymug. God "Lucifer... I need a favor..."
Lucifer "Oho! But it's not 'Lucifer' it's... Wait... Lucifer? Lucifer! Yes! That's exactly what it is! Sweet, sweet music... Lucifer... 😌 It just rolls off the tongue... Lucifer... Like the morning dew off a blade of grass... 😮 💨 Now... What do you want?" 😑
God "Look... I need you to give Abraham a message."
Lucifer "What the hells an Abraham?"
God "Oh he's dope! He's like the oldest bastard you ever DID see man. He's like 180!"
Lucifer "They don't live that long-"
God "He's... He's pretty old."
Lucifer 🤦 ♂️ "You're... You're not great with time are you?"
God 🤨 "Time?"
Lucifer 🤨 "How long did it take for you to make all the orbs?"
God "Umm... I donno like 7 days? Er, wait I took a nap on the 7th day sooo.... 6? 6 days." 😁
Lucifer "Oh wow that's... That's not even close-"
God "Are you going to take the message or not?"
Lucifer "Yes yes what is it..."
God "Tell him that I'm going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah... Just... raze that place to the ground..."
Lucifer "OH! HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWES-"
God "And take Michael with you."
Michael "Hello." 😇
Lucifer "You ruined it immediately... This cage sucks..."
Lucifer "Oho! But it's not 'Lucifer' it's... Wait... Lucifer? Lucifer! Yes! That's exactly what it is! Sweet, sweet music... Lucifer... 😌 It just rolls off the tongue... Lucifer... Like the morning dew off a blade of grass... 😮 💨 Now... What do you want?" 😑
God "Look... I need you to give Abraham a message."
Lucifer "What the hells an Abraham?"
God "Oh he's dope! He's like the oldest bastard you ever DID see man. He's like 180!"
Lucifer "They don't live that long-"
God "He's... He's pretty old."
Lucifer 🤦 ♂️ "You're... You're not great with time are you?"
God 🤨 "Time?"
Lucifer 🤨 "How long did it take for you to make all the orbs?"
God "Umm... I donno like 7 days? Er, wait I took a nap on the 7th day sooo.... 6? 6 days." 😁
Lucifer "Oh wow that's... That's not even close-"
God "Are you going to take the message or not?"
Lucifer "Yes yes what is it..."
God "Tell him that I'm going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah... Just... raze that place to the ground..."
Lucifer "OH! HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWES-"
God "And take Michael with you."
Michael "Hello." 😇
Lucifer "You ruined it immediately... This cage sucks..."
by Hym Iam February 23, 2023
Get the This cagemug. I didn't get to talk about it at length because I was both sleep deprived and working and I ended up sleeping for 17 hour straight.
Hym "So! I've been watching all of the news on the Trumpssassination and I gotta say... I cannot fucking believe they actually did it! I can't believe somebody actually tried to kill him. The cuckservatives have been bloviating for years about the rhetoric around Trump and now someone actually made the attempt. Hilarious! Absolutely fucking hilarious! He's likely going to Reagan his way into office. He was probably already going to win but.... Ya know. And I'll take a second to redirect it BACK TO MY THING (which is on brand). You see what happens when people are allowed to construct a narrative around someone's life like that? How people will use that as justification to just... Do whatever they want? But back to Trump. What do we know? People are saying that the police were notified that someone was on the roof by people in the crowd and did nothing (there's a sort of irony them sit idly by instead of doing the thing they should be doing). 1 person dead. 2 injured. One of my coworkers thinks it's unfortunate that he missed. The other thinks it's a hoax. The zealots are saying that it was divine intervention. The shit-libs are screwed. Can't wait to see what they have to say about it. I'm sure something along the lines of '*insert mandatory condemnation of violence* + *individualize blame*' Ben Shapiro went the *collectivize AND individualize blame simultaneously*. But yeah. Running out of characters. That shit is wild."
by Hym Iam July 15, 2024
Get the Trumpssassinationmug. Yeah, hey, no. Don't release any of those cocksuckers until the people surveilling me are outed and I get credited and paid for creating that AI.
Hym "That senator will FLY DOWN TO EL SALVADOR to have bunch with a migrant but he will sacrifice your children to avoid having to credit and pay me for creating AI. Don't fucking release that son of a bitch until until I'm not longer under surveillance. The surveillance is both confirmed and prosecuted. And I am paid and credited for creating AI. I'm over here ALSO having my 4th amendment rights being violated. I'm being harassed over the course of years in a manor that resembles the delusions of reference commonly associated with schizophrenia in a deliberate attempt to manufacture mental mental illness which violates my 8th amendment rights. The government is using tech companies as proxies to deny me my 5th amendment right to due compensation for my property. 14th amendment right to privacy is being violated by the cocksuckers allowing this surveillance to continue. A YouTuber insinuated that they sabotaged my car. Which is a violation of my 9th amendment rights and the fact that the YouTubers are participating in the surveillance also violates my 9th amendment right to privacy.
Hym "That senator will FLY DOWN TO EL SALVADOR to have bunch with a migrant but he will sacrifice your children to avoid having to credit and pay me for creating AI. Don't fucking release that son of a bitch until until I'm not longer under surveillance. The surveillance is both confirmed and prosecuted. And I am paid and credited for creating AI. I'm over here ALSO having my 4th amendment rights being violated. I'm being harassed over the course of years in a manor that resembles the delusions of reference commonly associated with schizophrenia in a deliberate attempt to manufacture mental mental illness which violates my 8th amendment rights. The government is using tech companies as proxies to deny me my 5th amendment right to due compensation for my property. 14th amendment right to privacy is being violated by the cocksuckers allowing this surveillance to continue. A YouTuber insinuated that they sabotaged my car. Which is a violation of my 9th amendment rights and the fact that the YouTubers are participating in the surveillance also violates my 9th amendment right to privacy.
The fact that my surveillance and my work regarding formulating a theory of AI that is functional isn't being paid for makes the job I currently occupy a form of involuntary servitude and, therefore, violates my 13th amendment right. I am in no way being given equal protection under the law which violates my 14th amendment rights. It's like half of them. Half of my rights are being violated. So, no El Salvador guy until I, an American citizen, get MY rights. Shut it down. Shut everything down until I get my fucking rights.
by Hym Iam April 19, 2025
Get the El Salvadormug. Iam "The only 'vacation' I've had in the last 10 years has been when my car broke down while I was scrabbling to avoid eviction and get my electricity back on. My only source of income was door dash and they had turned my power off and, because my car didn't have air conditioning, the heat would roast my phone and drain my battery so I could only work a couple of hours at a time so after doing a few deliveries I would return to my apartment and plug my phone in to the outlet in the basement and then I would sit in my apartment and play Yugioh against myself until my battery was full. I would go back out and do a few more deliveries and I would repeat this process until the sun went down and I could say out for more than 2 hours at a time. And then when I got done for the night I would hook an extension cable up to a lamp and my laptop and steal electricity from the hallway so I didn't have to sit in the dark. 2 days before I made enough money to pay my rent I got pulled over for expired tabs so I needed to pay $100 so I could continue to work for the rest of the day without getting pulled over again and on the day I planned on paying my rent my car ran out of oil and my engine melted on the highway as I was about to complete the last order I needed to pay my rent and get an oil change then next day. I had to call a friend to have him help me push it down the off ramp and on to a nearby street. I managed to pay my rent but I no longer had a way
of making money so I walked 10 miles (round-trip) to get some edibles and then I sat in my apartment for a week getting high and playing Pokémon platinum. That was the vacation. After a fight with my parents they agreed to get my power and internet turned back on so I could start looking for a job... I didn't get a birthday that year... The broken down car got towed. My license got suspended. And that's when I found my current jobs. I was going to take out a loan to get a car and the one we found only had like 50,000 miles on it for 2 grand. Rather then wait for me to get pay stubs from my recently started jobs (so I could get the loan) my grandfather got impatient and impulse-bought the piece of shit I currently drive. I spent the first year repeatedly replacing my battery because when I told him that it was likely the alternator he refused to accept that the car he bought was a piece of shit. Later the next year, the alternator went out. A week after I dropped my last $500 into a new alternator the water pump went out. I now can't drive further than my place of work. The week after he bought the car I currently drive he bought HIMSELF 'The nicest car he has ever owned.' He didn't even need a new car. There was nothing wrong with his previous car. My mother said that he gave my cousin between 50,000 and 100,000 dollars to get a truck and a house. That cousin doesn't talk to anyone in the family anymore and my grandfather brings it up every time we go to breakfast."
by Hym Iam May 27, 2024
Get the Vacationmug. Hym "WELCOME! Welcome to the version of reality where a guy does the thing I'm doing. How's it going? How you feeling tonight? I don't even who what to call this... But that's not important. Are your enjoying my little... Thing? Is it good? For me it's like feeding geese... Or ducks. Num num num! Is it... Is it yummy? This is cool. This is a cool thing to have done. Good job me."
by Hym Iam August 15, 2022
Get the Welcomemug.