5 definitions by HorseWithGloves

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If you're a true Liquor Captain, fill mug to this line.^

One who drinks alcohol at a rate that would cause the average person to black out, but isn't phased. The Liquor Captain sets full sail to the liquor winds.
"Man, Tristan is a fucking Liquor Captain. He had 20 beers and he's perfectly fine. Most people would be passed out by now but Tristan is still taking shots of Jim Beam."
by HorseWithGloves September 6, 2018
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Billy: " What kinda beer you got for later?"

Jimmy: " Cold and Free!"
Billy: " That's the best kind. Perfect for a Liquor Captain ."
by HorseWithGloves September 4, 2018
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(Cök Snâch-ər-ee)

Something that is over priced, or otherwise attempts to leave your life savings and or wallet horse-molested. A ripoff.
"Damn, son! $25.99 for a 24 pack of Miller? That's Cock Snatchery! Grab the Busch it's $10 less and comes with 6 more."
by HorseWithGloves September 5, 2018
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the act of getting completely fucked beyond recognition. destroyed.
"the French military didn't stand a chance in WWII, If they hadn't surrendered, they easily would have been horse-molested
by HorseWithGloves August 30, 2018
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something that will undoubtedly fuck your whole existence.
"I got a DUI and was going 60mph over the speed limit, this situation is a complete horse with gloves, I'm going to jail for sure..."
by HorseWithGloves August 30, 2018
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