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Definitions by HorseWithGloves

Liquor Captain 

_______________________________
If you're a true Liquor Captain, fill mug to this line.^

One who drinks alcohol at a rate that would cause the average person to black out, but isn't phased. The Liquor Captain sets full sail to the liquor winds.
"Man, Tristan is a fucking Liquor Captain. He had 20 beers and he's perfectly fine. Most people would be passed out by now but Tristan is still taking shots of Jim Beam."
Liquor Captain by HorseWithGloves September 5, 2018

Cold and Free 

Billy: " What kinda beer you got for later?"

Jimmy: " Cold and Free!"
Billy: " That's the best kind. Perfect for a Liquor Captain ."
Cold and Free by HorseWithGloves September 4, 2018

Cock Snatchery 

(Cök Snâch-ər-ee)

Something that is over priced, or otherwise attempts to leave your life savings and or wallet horse-molested. A ripoff.
"Damn, son! $25.99 for a 24 pack of Miller? That's Cock Snatchery! Grab the Busch it's $10 less and comes with 6 more."
Cock Snatchery by HorseWithGloves September 4, 2018

horse-molested

the act of getting completely fucked beyond recognition. destroyed.
"the French military didn't stand a chance in WWII, If they hadn't surrendered, they easily would have been horse-molested
horse-molested by HorseWithGloves August 30, 2018

horse with gloves 

something that will undoubtedly fuck your whole existence.
"I got a DUI and was going 60mph over the speed limit, this situation is a complete horse with gloves, I'm going to jail for sure..."