316 definitions by Harry flashman

SORTS

A nightmarish, coded, machine-read Naval message that is supposed to be a real-time methodology for reporting overall operational readiness to a vindictive and hateful computer in Washington D.C. that seizes upon a single minute error and then flames your commanding officer who then shits in your garrison hat.

I'd rather be in charge of the Combined Federal Campaign at the Norfolk Naval Brig and have a bleeding prostate the size of grapefruit than be the SORTS officer.

by Harry flashman July 11, 2003

EPD's

Expected Progeny Differences, data collected on cattle (dames and bulls) used in breeding programs to predict characteristics in offspring.

Lookit!, Leroy...check out the EPD's on that sweetheart wearing the crimson Carharrt's.

by Harry flashman July 30, 2003

hacker

A pet or friend who coughs up hairballs.

Fluffy was a longhaired Persian who was also a hacker; the relationship was illfated.

by Harry flashman August 3, 2003

catshit and apple butter

An interjection indicating exasperation.

Catshit and apple butter, I just got put in charge of the United Way campaign again this year.

by Harry flashman July 6, 2003

serious emotional trauma

While physical trauma heals, serious emotional trauma leaves permanent psychological scars.

Getting my foreskin caught in my trouser zipper at age 5 was bad enough, but what gave me serious emotional trauma was when my mother had to unzip it.

by Harry flashman July 15, 2003

license to steal

A law degree coupled with a passing score on the state bar exam.

Congratulations Mr. Ferndock...5th time was a charm, you passed the bar exam...you got a license to steal.

by Harry flashman July 10, 2003

aquestion

Having to do with horses, equestrian.

Althea asked directions to the aquestion center where she hoped to rent and ride a horse, but nobody seemed to know what she was talking about.

by Harry flashman August 13, 2003