Definitions by HMB

Predator's face 

(noun) Euphemism for a somewhat intimidating looking vagina, especially one with curved pedipalpical hook-shaped teeth and an Ozzy Osborne hairstyle. Not usually considered an aphrodisiac.

"I heard that the Governor of California only got his job because of his onscreen performance in giving the Predator's face a good licking."

Predator's face by HMB November 23, 2003

peripetaeia 

(noun) From Ancient Greek dramatic tradition, this usually comes after a great revelation (anagnorisis) has occurred, and consists of a reversal of fortunes. Thus, a king who rules wisely for fifty years, then discovers that he killed his father and married his mother without knowing it, is at that point in time a participant in a peripetaeia.

Film Critic 1: "I was relaxing with a few porn vids the other night and it turns out one of them was a gay porn tape that I'd shoplifted by mistake. Well, guess who was starring in that gay tape?"

Film Critic 2: "Dude, I don't know. I don't watch gay porn."

Film Critic 1: "Me neither, but get this: it was Peter North."

Film Critic 2: "No way!"

Film Critic 1: "I swear, it was Peter North. And another guy was doing him up the butt and then he comes all over the schoolroom table."

Film Critic 2: "Well this certainly makes for a very dramatic peripetaeia, coming as it does hot on the heels of an anagnorisis."

Film Critic 1: "Yes, and we might even say that his latent homosexuality is his hamartia."

peripetaeia by HMB November 20, 2003

SMVC

Shoulder Mounted Video Camera: (noun) The weapon of choice for today's journalist in use in self defence, when they find themselves embedded with American soldiers abroad in some festering petrochemical shithole of a desert nation fighting a war that they don't want and can't win, wearing a distinctinve "Shoot me please!" Army uniform.

Soldier: Dude, you are so dead when we move out to Ramallah. I hear them Eye-rackies out there got RPGs up the wazoo.

NBC reporter: Aha! Well that's where you're wrong my friend. I have an SMVC! FEAR MY VIDEO CAMERA.

Soldier: Christ.

SMVC by HMB November 18, 2003

George W. Bush 

1. American colloquialism for a President, especially one who favors tax cuts, war with distant countries, and winning elections by exciting hair's breadth margins. Possessor of a lexicon and grammatical system entertaining beyond anything Lewis Carroll has dreamed up.

Many British visitors to the American shores are puzzled by American slang. It is worth remembering that the man they call "President Bush" is essentially the same person that the Brits call "President Cunt" back at home.

George W. Bush by HMB July 30, 2003

strapadictomy 

A medical procedure in which a person puts on a rubber cock. Frequently done before instances of lesbian sex.

"I underwent a strapadictomy with my lesbian lover, Minjita."

strapadictomy by HMB July 26, 2003

One 

A unit of sex, although with no concrete definition. This can be given or slipped.

"Have you seen that Kate Moss. She's got tits like fried eggs but I'd certainly slip her one."

Mario: "How many marks would you give Princess Peach, out of two?"

Luigi: "Hmm. I'd give her one."

One by HMB July 12, 2003

freedom flag 

1. A flag that stands for freedom.
2. "Le Tricolore" - The flag of France (in the present anti-French climate). This strikes me as being hilariously amusing because the entire reason why the Congress renamed French fries in the first place was to show that France did not support military action for freedom. The ironic juxtaposition inherent in the subtextual deconstructuralist narrative frame of this dialogical reificate is so funny that it makes me want to shit my pants, wipe it on the windows, and then run naked through Congress with my hands in the air gibbering like a lunatic.

1. Dude, the American flag is the only freedom flag in the world because everybody knows that America is the only free country in the world.

2. What flag do the French have then?

1. Shit.

freedom flag by HMB May 11, 2003