Definitions by Gruntie Stevie

Schlom

The backflow of various bodily fluids upon the conclusion of anal sex.

I lashed out on some upmarket satin sheets for the occasion only for him to schlom all over them when I pulled out.

Schlom by Gruntie Stevie June 19, 2022

Arse at high tide 

Suffering from diarrhea.

"Oh, no breakfast for me thanks. I've had my arse at high tide for the past two days and I'm afraid to fart in case I blow out a tsunami!"

Arse at high tide by Gruntie Stevie October 25, 2020

Pouring a Guinness 

The act of passing diarrhea, usually whilst travelling abroad.

"How was Gary this morning?"
"Oh, not too flash, he was on the shitter all night, pouring a Guinness well into the wee hours

Pouring a Guinness by Gruntie Stevie October 25, 2020

humph-a-dumph-dumpher

A spontaneous and frenzied sexual intercourse (or attempt thereof) without awareness or concern if sexual engagement is successful.

By the time he got his pants off he was already thrusting randomly in a rage of pure humph-a-dumph-dumpher

humph-a-dumph-dumpher by Gruntie Stevie September 21, 2019

playing with her lightswitch 

Clitoral masturbation.

She just sat with her legs up, pants down, and playing with her lightswitch until she squirt.

playing with her lightswitch by Gruntie Stevie September 21, 2019

tweeties

Noun. Female genitalia. Unoffensive juvenile slang

"Papa! I did a fart that went from my bum to my tweeties!'

tweeties by Gruntie Stevie September 21, 2019

Trouser Sneeze

Ejaculation in one's own pants, literally. Metaphorically used as an expression of ecstatic excitement.

"Did you just snow your dacks?"
"You bet I did! I just had a massive trouser sneeze"

Trouser Sneeze by Gruntie Stevie September 21, 2019