Definitions by Grant Hansen
Quantum Splooge
The act of ejaculating so hard and vigorously the seems in the testicles break and a large explosion of cum and balls flies out of you bag. If this is done vigourousoy enough it will cause the space time continuum to malfunction and balls from different universes and dimensions will be flying out of the shatter of time which originated from your balls.
(Wanks)
“OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD ITS SO PAINFUL! I THINK I JUST Quantum Splooged”
“OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD ITS SO PAINFUL! I THINK I JUST Quantum Splooged”
Quantum Splooge by Grant Hansen July 10, 2018
Mouth Cum
You blast your load so deep inside an individuals arse it comes out their mouth when they spit it out.
Ruth: Blast it!
Kayla Harry: (load blasts)
Ruth: (Vomits the load out her mouth)
Kayla Harry: Woah you just performed Mouth Cum!
Kayla Harry: (load blasts)
Ruth: (Vomits the load out her mouth)
Kayla Harry: Woah you just performed Mouth Cum!
Mouth Cum by Grant Hansen July 5, 2018
Lumberjack Chode
It is commonly known around the world that every single Lumberjack who has ever lived had or has a Chode.
This is because the Cum Witch has cursed them because Lumberjack’s destroy wood. And that’s gay, bro.
This is because the Cum Witch has cursed them because Lumberjack’s destroy wood. And that’s gay, bro.
Lumberjack 1: Hey, Lumberjack 2, does my Lumberjack Chode look lumpy to you?
Lumberjack 2: No Lumberjack 1, I do not in fact believe your penis to be lumpy as I am a heterosexual male with no interest to be viewing yo-
(Lumberjack 1 analy penetrates Lumberjack 2 to the point Lumberjack 2 dies)
Lumberjack 2: No Lumberjack 1, I do not in fact believe your penis to be lumpy as I am a heterosexual male with no interest to be viewing yo-
(Lumberjack 1 analy penetrates Lumberjack 2 to the point Lumberjack 2 dies)
Lumberjack Chode by Grant Hansen July 3, 2018
Fisherman’s Load
When you catch a large amount of fish out at sea on a fishing boat, one must grab one of the fish and use the fish slime as a lubricant. You then bust a nut into the ocean. This is known as Fishermans Load.
Jakub Chickowski: Guys! I jut caught a bunch of fish!
Lennon Vipond: Yes! Now we can perform Fisherman’s Load
Lennon Vipond: Yes! Now we can perform Fisherman’s Load
Fisherman’s Load by Grant Hansen July 2, 2018
The Neutron Balls
Lennon: Jakub, kick my balls
Jakub: Okay (kicks Lennon’s balls)
(Jakub breaks every bone in his body then turns to ash)
Lennon: Ha! I was wearing The Neutron Balls!
Jakub: Okay (kicks Lennon’s balls)
(Jakub breaks every bone in his body then turns to ash)
Lennon: Ha! I was wearing The Neutron Balls!
The Neutron Balls by Grant Hansen July 2, 2018
Cockerang
A boomerang made out of ones severed penis.
Wait until you reach climax and decapitate your penis from your body. You can blow into either end to fill the penis with air to keep it erect for enough time to use the Cockerang. Then bend it at as right angle.
You now have your Cockerang... you can throw it at unsuspecting pedestrians for pleasure. If you throw it hard enough it can climax in mid air.
The reason it’s a boomerang is because if you do hit someone, there is a very high chance they will return the favour... thus it ‘returns’ to you.
Wait until you reach climax and decapitate your penis from your body. You can blow into either end to fill the penis with air to keep it erect for enough time to use the Cockerang. Then bend it at as right angle.
You now have your Cockerang... you can throw it at unsuspecting pedestrians for pleasure. If you throw it hard enough it can climax in mid air.
The reason it’s a boomerang is because if you do hit someone, there is a very high chance they will return the favour... thus it ‘returns’ to you.
David Hansen: I chopped my dick off and used it as a boomerang
Alfred the Mankiller: Dude... that’s a Cockerang
Alfred the Mankiller: Dude... that’s a Cockerang
Cockerang by Grant Hansen July 1, 2018
Alfred The Mankiller
In a distopian future; Captain ALM grows bored of hacking computers and breaking mainframes... he requires something more. Something... better. Alfred developed a love for snapping human spines after his first victim, Henry Ozolins.
Obviously he requires a new name. He becomes Alfred The Mankiller.
This interpretation of the Captain is a brutal killing machine who knows no fear.
Obviously he requires a new name. He becomes Alfred The Mankiller.
This interpretation of the Captain is a brutal killing machine who knows no fear.
Henry Ozolins: Holy shit it’s Alfred The Mankiller!
Alfred The Mankiller: There seems to be a break - (snaps Ozolins neck) - in the mainframe
Alfred The Mankiller: There seems to be a break - (snaps Ozolins neck) - in the mainframe
Alfred The Mankiller by Grant Hansen July 1, 2018