Futumsh's definitions

Skatwank

A skatwank is a form of masturbation for people who are aroused by the smell and texture of their own, or someone else's faeces. It involves defecating and using the faeces as a lubricant or texture enhancer for masturbation.

I took a dump in a jar and put it in the fridge so I could have a cold skatwank later

by Futumsh August 25, 2017

shagerversary

An anninversary of the the first time a couple have had sexual intercourse

Today is our one year shagerversary

by Futumsh July 15, 2006

textdipidy

When using predictive text messaging on your phone and it suggests an alternative word that's better than, more humorous or related to the one you were originally going to use. A combination of 'text' and 'serendipity'

I went to text the word 'anal' and it suggested 'cock' it was total textdipidy

by Futumsh April 16, 2009

Nophisticate

Someone who in trying to prove that they are sophisticated actually proves the opposite.

"I'm drinking Santana Champ 'cos it's so crisp"

"He's a total nophisticate"

"She has nophisticated taste"

by Futumsh June 19, 2009