DTM

DTM means "Don't tell Mom!" A quick way to remind siblings that what you are sharing isn't for Mom to hear. DTM is most often by teenagers as well as adults to conceal activities or feelings from the likely disapproval of Mom. Easy to add at the end of a text and gets the message across.

Karen: "Mom wants me to go antique shopping all day in Sonoma. I'm on the fence. I'd go but only if you go... oh and DTM"
Beth: "Ya, I'm not gonna go. I'm telling Mom I'm sick! DTM either!"

by Funny Moms January 24, 2015

Dud

Dud is the opposite of funster. You can easily ascertain whether someone is fun-loving, maybe a little crazy OR are they the type of person to be, well, a dud. You will find a dud working overtime at his or her cube, whilst the funster is already at happy hour.

Karen to John O who she's never met: "So, John: are you a funster or a dud?"
John O. "Well I guess you'll have to be the judge of that after we meet" - clearly a dud.

Karen: "Okay, I'll hang with Troy, he's the ultimate funster!"

by Funny Moms January 30, 2015

Guilt tax

Guilt tax is the unspoken guilty feeling one has when they are recipients of a generous gift, and mostly likely, have failed to reciprocate at the equal level. The guilt tax is especially high during the holidays when wealthier parents or friends give lavish gifts.

Karen to sister Beth: "Oh my gosh, Mom got me this expensive bracelet for Hannukah and all I got her was a pepper mill."
Beth: "Too bad for you! You're going to be paying the guilt tax for months!"

by Funny Moms December 19, 2014

Sextation

Sextation is a travel experience, such as a vacation, where the primary recreational activity happens to be engaging in sex with your significant other. It can also be used when there isn't an official vacation, but one is staying at home. Similar to a stay-cation, you don't need to leave home to enjoy the many benefits. It usually implies that the sex is extended, over a day or more, like a vacation, but a sextation.

Oh my God, my new BF is so hot! We didn't leave his house for three days - it was like a total sextation -three nights, and four days. All inclusive. I need a vacation!

by Funny Moms May 16, 2016

covid poser

A Covid poser is someone who on the surface seems to be the most committed person to mask wearing, and social distancing and enforcing all the rules. However this is the same person that was shopping at Walmart, going to a friends house for Thanksgiving and is not wearing a mask unless anyone’s watching.

Me: So Mom, I thought you didn’t leave your house for six months? Why are you at Walmart and out to dinner with your friends, no mask in sight? Sounds like a Covid poser to me?
Mom: “No I just did curbside delivery!”
Me: “Right...”

by Funny Moms December 12, 2020

Fucknormous

Unfortunately, fuknormous is a natural outcry of a female when she accidentally gets a glimpse of herself in a mirror and realizes she really, really looks fat. Never a good thing, but most likely true. It's a way to self describe that you look enormous. Awful.

V to best gf: oh my god, are you kidding me? I look fucknormous in that window!
Gf: ya kinda sucks, but didn't you say you ate like a pig on your trip to Puerto Vallarta?

by Funny Moms August 08, 2016

FuckTime

FuckTime is the go-to method for sexual relations when two parties are not in the same vicinity. "FaceTime" is commonly used for seeing family and friends, whereas "FuckTime" is an extension of an intimate sexual relationship, going on-line, in an effort to simulate what might be happening in person, otherwise. A highly effective alternative to Face to Face interactions. Does the job under the difficult long distance circumstances.

Hi babydoll, I'm at my parent's but I think I can FuckTime...

For sure, lock the door, time to FuckTime!

Why did you have to leave town? Thank God for FuckTime! It's actually super hot!

So nice!

by Funny Moms September 17, 2016