Frank Klaune's definitions

furp

The loud sound generated by the rapid oscillation of the anal sphincter which is a direct result of the expulsion of a considerable volume of intestinal gas at great force which causes an overwhelming aroma of nauseating proportion.

"Grotee let a furp go and, man, you could feel the ground shake, and afterward, damn, I almost vomited."

by Frank Klaune November 22, 2003

blat

1) Anoter one of many terms designating a type of fart. The "blat" is designated by an explosive blast of rectal gas. While the sound is ferocious, the smell is usually deadly. However the duration (of both the blat and the people standing around the blat-ter) is very brief (pun intended).

2) The type of fart typically associated with "Ocky" and "Clutcher" in the less-well-known comic series of the same name.

3) Designating one of the the two most obnoxious sounds of the tuba. In this context, the term is often spelled "blatt" and associated with "the other" obnoxious sound of the tuba, the "woop". Often the two sounds are grouped together (e.g. "blatting and wooping").

1) We were playing cards when all at once... BLAT! Grodie let one go, and the game was immediately called off.

2) BLAT!

3) Tubas... we're going to try that again. This time without the blatting and wooping.

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004

Shithouse Poet

Widely-acclaimed anonymous author of infamous wit and wisdom written on the stalls and walls of many bathrooms. The "Shithouse Poet" is believed to actually be a number of different individuals acting in nearly every state of the United States. Much to the chagrin of janitors, the Shithouse Poet leaves his nuggets (pardon the pun) of wit and wisdom in the form of well-crafted prose and poetry through various means in batrhooms throughout the U.S.A.

Some examples:

"They scrub these walls to stop my pen,
but the Shithouse Poet strikes again.
The erased words are all my life.
I'll next engrave them with my knife."

And...

"Here I sat all broken hearted.
Tried to shat, but only farted.
So today I took a chance.
Now I say I shit my pants.
Tomorrow I decide my fate.
I'll borrow a quart of Kaopectate."

by Frank Klaune January 22, 2005

meat tenderizer

Slang term describing a police officer's baton. The term is best appreciated when the baton is furiously applied on the head of some stupid bastard who desperately deserves it.

We loved it when the dude who ran over the little kid resisted arrest, because it gave the police a good opportunity to use the meat tenderizer.

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

squibbler

One of a number of terms pertaining to the classification of various kinds of farts. A squibbler indicates the rather anemic sound of a small amount of intestinal gas released in a rather tentative, timid manner resulting in a high-pitched, warbling, somewhat bubbly sound of relatively short duration.

"Frank just let a squibbler, but damn, did it stink!"

by Frank Klaune November 8, 2003

clown shit

n. Worthless junk. Something which is broken, cheap or substandard can be said to be "clown shit."

Damn, Frank is sure a Chevy guy. To him, all Fords are clown shit.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

pissalorium

Humourous term for the restroom (or "WC" in Europe). It gives the user an air of vain intelligence and sophistication to apparently use a Latin term when, in reality, the user is probably too stupid to even know Pig Latin. See also "Leakatorium" and "poopalorium"

Damn, that quart of beer went right through me. Gentlemen, please excuse me. Frank, where's your pissalorium?

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005