Frank Klaune's definitions

pissed up

Yet another term designating a very high level of inebriation / drunkenness.

Damn, Frank came home all pissed up last night and passed out in his front yard. What an idiot.

by Frank Klaune May 2, 2005

shaken not stirred

Phrase used to diffrentiate between the act of shaking of the schlong (after urination) as compared to the act of masturbation. The phrase is best illustrated in the military when a drill sergeant barks at a recruit (who is urinating), "more than than three shakes is pleasure and that's not what you're here for.' The original phrase "shaken not stirred" has an obvious root in the James Bond movies, but also serves a different context. In this sense it is often used in contempt.

We were in a hurry, but Frank had to piss first. Damn, but he took forever in the mens room. Mike was getting pissed off and joked that maybe he was beating off. I finally stuck my head in the door and yelled, "LET'S GO! SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED!"

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

soften the meat

Phrase used to describe a police officer's application of the baton upside the head of some stupid bastard who deserves it.

Frank was watching "COPS" last night when we were over. We watched some dudes who stole some poor lady's car and went on a high speed chase all over town. They rammed several cop cars then totalled the stolen car on an embankment. Damn, it was good to see the officers soften the meat on the driver!

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

Polish fly swatter

The spash screen placed in the bottom of a urinal to stop spattering pissors from getting ocean spray on their trousers. The Polish fly swatter often is embedded with a urinal cake or scented sustance to enable you to spend many hours of enchanting sniffing in such a delightful environment.

Damn, what the hell? Some sick bastard stuck a Polish fly swatter in my gym bag last night!

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

furp

The loud sound generated by the rapid oscillation of the anal sphincter which is a direct result of the expulsion of a considerable volume of intestinal gas at great force which causes an overwhelming aroma of nauseating proportion.

"Grotee let a furp go and, man, you could feel the ground shake, and afterward, damn, I almost vomited."

by Frank Klaune November 22, 2003

Tomism

General term pertaining to any of a wide number of comical vulgarities, invented insults and mismangulated obscenities and curses made famous by a certain Tom K. (last name omitted)

"Oh, you MOTHER!"
"You FUCKNOB!"
(insert name) "...has an I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich"
"sons-of-bastages"
"Cancel Christmas forever"
"butt buddy bubba with the burlap balls"
"rump ridin' ridge runner"

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003

pissalorium

Humourous term for the restroom (or "WC" in Europe). It gives the user an air of vain intelligence and sophistication to apparently use a Latin term when, in reality, the user is probably too stupid to even know Pig Latin. See also "Leakatorium" and "poopalorium"

Damn, that quart of beer went right through me. Gentlemen, please excuse me. Frank, where's your pissalorium?

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005