Frank Klaune's definitions

drug monster

Another common Tomism with humorous implications, "drug monster" refers to a person whose personality is higly changeable through use of drugs. It also refers to one who uses a large quantity of drugs and implies a dependence on such drugs.

Frank took a speedball, two hits off the bong, an LSD cube and a 'lude. Man, he is one drug monster!

by Frank Klaune February 13, 2005

dickstick

In nominal terms, a dickstick is another term for a dildo. By extrapolation, "dickstick" is a Tomism (see Tomism) and used as a mild insult to one's intelligence. Useable as a substitute for "dipshit", "dickstick" usually indicates one's displeasure of another person's actions.

P1: "Hey, Tom look. Frank just took the last piece of pizza."

T: "Oh, that dickstick! I didn't even get to eat any!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

shaken not stirred

Phrase used to diffrentiate between the act of shaking of the schlong (after urination) as compared to the act of masturbation. The phrase is best illustrated in the military when a drill sergeant barks at a recruit (who is urinating), "more than than three shakes is pleasure and that's not what you're here for.' The original phrase "shaken not stirred" has an obvious root in the James Bond movies, but also serves a different context. In this sense it is often used in contempt.

We were in a hurry, but Frank had to piss first. Damn, but he took forever in the mens room. Mike was getting pissed off and joked that maybe he was beating off. I finally stuck my head in the door and yelled, "LET'S GO! SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED!"

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

soften the meat

Phrase used to describe a police officer's application of the baton upside the head of some stupid bastard who deserves it.

Frank was watching "COPS" last night when we were over. We watched some dudes who stole some poor lady's car and went on a high speed chase all over town. They rammed several cop cars then totalled the stolen car on an embankment. Damn, it was good to see the officers soften the meat on the driver!

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

pissed up

Yet another term designating a very high level of inebriation / drunkenness.

Damn, Frank came home all pissed up last night and passed out in his front yard. What an idiot.

by Frank Klaune May 2, 2005

squirts, the

Excessively moist excrement which causes occasional accidental releases of liquid shit in your shorts. Commonly called the "Hershey Squirts", "the shits" or "the trots", "the squirts" are marked by the perceived need to pass a fart, and while attempting to fart, shitting one's drawers.

"I ate that damn crap they served up, and it was so greasy, that now I've got the squirts all night long."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

walking waste of sperm

The ultimate insult. Reserved for only the most hateful, stupid, obnoxious or contemptible people known.

That islamic suicide bomber killed several innocent people. What a walking waste of sperm he was.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005