yawn

When you feel sleepy, you stretch out your arms and roar like an (armadillo)

Guy: Hey look I think Rick is gonna (yawn)
Rick: *ROARS LIKE AN ARMADILLO*

by FlatPlanet3500 September 27, 2020

Inturesting

What is inturesting? That's an inturesting question.

Man: You just won the random lottery for 10 million dollars!!!
Me: Inturesting...

by FlatPlanet3500 July 28, 2020

.

REMEMBER TO PUT A . AT THE END OF YOUR SENTENCE

Look at me putting a . at the end of my sentence

by FlatPlanet3500 July 28, 2020

egg

Fragile but powerful.

Also very delicious.

We must bow down to the eggs.

Friend: Carries carton of eggs
Me: Better be careful, or else the deceased eggs will haunt you at night and become your nightmares

by FlatPlanet3500 April 06, 2021

Shiitake Mushrooms

These mushrooms save you from swearing.

Pronounced Shih-talk-eee mush-rooms

Mom: Oops just dropped your phone and broke it.
Guy: SHIT
Mom: *stares*

Guy: TAKE MUSHROOMS
Mom: What?
Guy: I said shiitake mushrooms. I was buying some on my phone...

by FlatPlanet3500 July 28, 2020