Flappy Dickwad's definitions
What Pork Scotch does all day long and never gets bored doing it. This detestable activity includes wearing silly shorts you've no right to wear when you're well into your 60s, rattling bunches of keys because it makes you feel important, going out with ugly goofy old women, driving a ridiculous half-car, wearing snot-yellow coats because you're terrified of a drop of rain, listening to gay South African music and most importantly having a barbecue at least once a day in the Summer.
What's Pork Scotch up to today?
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
by flappy dickwad August 20, 2009
Get the Scotchingmug. The type of shit music played by fat old men at barbecues. The music is usually of South African origin and has a rhythm which the fat old man can't resist doing a gay dance to when he gets drunk on rum.
Monk: The barbecue's fine but why the shit music?
Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
by flappy dickwad June 20, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch musicmug. Shades worn by fat old men who want people to think they're young and trendy. Also useful for hiding bags under the eyes of droopy-faced old miseries.
Good God, what's the old twat wearing now? First it was the ridiculous shorts and sandals. Now the dickhead's got Pork Scotch Shades on.
by Flappy Dickwad May 24, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Shadesmug. A thick old twat who performed a geriatric break-dance on Britain's Got Talent whilst claiming benefits for being disabled.
Does the old dickhead think that the benefits people don't watch television?
But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
by Flappy Dickwad May 28, 2009
Get the Break-Dancing Fredmug. A gay dance done by fat old men when they get drunk at barbecues. The spectacle is greatly enhanced when the fat old man is wearing a buffalo-skin hat and strips down to his tartan boxer shorts.
by Flappy Dickwad May 6, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch dancemug. Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.
Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?
They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009
Get the Pensioner Pantsmug. A lukewarm dickhead who pathetically and totally illogically cancels his holiday due to rain at home. The prime example of this ridiculous class of individual is Fishy Macswell, the world's ugliest wanker, who put off his departure by an entire day because he was terrified of getting wet walking 20 feet from his house to his van.
I could almost understand cancelling a holiday if it was raining in the place of destination. But to cancel because of rain at home takes a world-class weather wuss.
And a dickhead.
Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
And a dickhead.
Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
by flappy dickwad August 16, 2009
Get the Weather wussmug.