Definitions by Fionna Schwab
Tossing a ham
Tossing a ham by Fionna Schwab October 29, 2023
3 Hole Punch
It’s that game where I chose which 3 holes I'm going to punch you in; you guess which hole I'm going to punch you in 1st!
3 Hole Punch by Fionna Schwab May 17, 2023
Lickety Split
It’s that game where you lick the tip of my penis while trying to avoid me punching you in the mouth. If I win, I punch you in your pretty mouth. If you win, you get punched in the mouth. Either way, you get a split lip.
For Christmas my family likes to do all the usual things. We exchange presents, have a nice dinner, sing carols, and play games like Lickety Split.
Lickety Split by Fionna Schwab May 17, 2023
Dirty Dozen Circle Jerk
That thing where you jerk off a dozen guys, two at a time; until they’ve all finished, or you dislocate your shoulders-whichever comes first
Dirty Dozen Circle Jerk by Fionna Schwab April 23, 2023
Fecal-Focused
That thing where your friend tells you about their brontosaurus poops, their pebble poops, and everything in between.
You tell me everything about your bowel movements; their consistency, size, frequency, etc. You’re very fecal-focused.
Fecal-Focused by Fionna Schwab April 23, 2023
Hot Lips Gonzalez
That thing when a woman goes to the bathroom after chopping jalapeños, and neglecting to wash her hands-and the resulting “down there” pain. Southern cousin to Hot Lips Houlihan on M.A.S.H.
I was in a hurry, making my famous spicy queso. I went to the bathroom and BAM, Hot Lips Gonzalez in my shorts!
Hot Lips Gonzalez by Fionna Schwab April 23, 2023
Peppermint Lane
That thing where you put a starlight mint in your mouth and give oral sex so you can keep watching Hallmark Christmas movies all night long.
My jaw is sore. I took my husband to Peppermint Lane while I watched Christmas for Christmas on Hallmark channel.
Peppermint Lane by Fionna Schwab January 5, 2020