Fearman's definitions

Zaphod Clause

Important precondition for attaining the role of chief of the executive wing of government, not least in the United States. More or less quote/unquote, "You can't become President with an entire brain." From the movie of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Al Gore and John Kerry almost made it, but they were both scuppered by the Zaphod Clause.

by Fearman August 31, 2007

domokun

Little square brown creature with a gaping toothy mouth, born in Japan. Big in Japan, too. For some reason used as a mascot (not, presumably, by the artists who made the domokun) against the perfectly natural, pleasant and healthy practice of masturbation. See also Religion.

Every time you send that fucking picture, God kills a domokun.

by Fearman December 27, 2007

Sphenisciformosanikleptophobia

Fear that, one by one, the penguins are stealing one's sanity.

Jimmy hasn't left the house lately. He's writing threatening letters to his great-great-great grandchildren and won't believe they haven't been born yet. It's kind of ironic that he seems to have sphenisciformosanikleptophobia; he won't go to the zoo. Ever.

by Fearman June 15, 2007

veget-type Aryan

Very self-righteous vegetarian. Incisor-bearing organism in serious denial. Thinks all meat-eaters are scum and constantly refers to various forms of repast as "dead pig", "dead cow", "dead shrimp", and so on. Typically (and fittingly) weedy as hell. Likely to tell you that "you are what you eat" ... so, where do they store their chlorophyll?

A: It's not all a kooky cult, you know, many famous people down through history have been vegetarians ...,

B: Name one.

A: Ummmm ...,

A: How about Adolf Hitler? He was a veget-type Aryan, wasn't he?

by Fearman August 4, 2007

people's republic of Cork

Logo often found on T-shirts in Ireland's largest and southernmost county, particularly in its capital city of the same name (pop. c. 200,000). A subtle sign of "The Rebel" County Cork's coming secession from the rest of the island.

Up with the People's Republic of Cork!

by Fearman December 17, 2007

poet

A
Poet

Used to be
someone who
Wrote a lot of lines that rhymed & were otherwise
possessed of a musical quality that did not
necessarily require
strings or drums in the
background
& was altogether too smart for words

Now a poet is
just
someone who
fucks about with the length
of
lines
so as to make
the utterly
banal
appear to have unplumbed depths of meaning
which I suppose
is at least moderately
more
democratic

Everyone's a poet ... only they just don't know it.

by Fearman December 16, 2007

love bombing

Behaviour by members of a religious cult towards potential recruits, whereby the members of the group are at first reluctant to bring up their dogmas or even their cult membership, but try to look sexy or warm-hearted or open-minded (favourite New Age buzzword). Once the new member is befriended, out come the wacky conspiracy theories, the cult line on sex and so on.

She was fifty if she was a day, busty and dressed in sensual scarlet, and asking me about my girlfriends. She was love bombing, of course. She finally got drunk and let slip she was a born-again Christian about two hours later.

by Fearman December 16, 2007