Evan Joestar's definitions
Suburban/Rural hybrid towns that boomed in the 21st Century but are never depicted in media. Sometimes referred to as the Exurbs. Movies pretend these places don’t exist because filming here would depress the director.
A type of town that looks rural from a plane but looks suburban-inspired up close, like a suburb that gave up half-way.
The final boss of car-dependent city planning.
Nothing is walkable or connected. Everything is near everything, yet unreachable without a car.
Too many fields, overgrown ditches, empty lots, & dying buildings to be suburban — but too many gas stations, big intersections, chain stores, & commercial strips to be rural.
The Final Boss of car-dependent sprawl where you get the traffic of a major city without the jobs, walkability, basic amenities, nightlife, or human interaction. You have plenty of neighbors but you'll never meet them.
A great place to live if you hate people & love driving in heavy traffic. A worse place to live than Norilsk if you wish to date or have a social life.
A type of town that looks rural from a plane but looks suburban-inspired up close, like a suburb that gave up half-way.
The final boss of car-dependent city planning.
Nothing is walkable or connected. Everything is near everything, yet unreachable without a car.
Too many fields, overgrown ditches, empty lots, & dying buildings to be suburban — but too many gas stations, big intersections, chain stores, & commercial strips to be rural.
The Final Boss of car-dependent sprawl where you get the traffic of a major city without the jobs, walkability, basic amenities, nightlife, or human interaction. You have plenty of neighbors but you'll never meet them.
A great place to live if you hate people & love driving in heavy traffic. A worse place to live than Norilsk if you wish to date or have a social life.
Dude I live in Sub-Rural Texas, we don't have nightlife here.
In the wake of urban decay, many well-off city folks are headed out to new sub-rural developments.
The movies still think we all live in Time Square, most of us live in Sub-Rural sprawl these days. Imagine if they actually filmed their movies in a Sub-Rural town.
In my Sub-Rural town, everything you want to buy is a drive to another town. All we have here is gasoline, soda, & tire shops.
In the wake of urban decay, many well-off city folks are headed out to new sub-rural developments.
The movies still think we all live in Time Square, most of us live in Sub-Rural sprawl these days. Imagine if they actually filmed their movies in a Sub-Rural town.
In my Sub-Rural town, everything you want to buy is a drive to another town. All we have here is gasoline, soda, & tire shops.
by Evan Joestar November 13, 2025
Get the Sub-Rural mug.The McSuburbs are those new copy-paste towns that are only designed for cars & big business instead of people. McSuburbs don't have public transportation, forcing everyone to drive. They suck to live in, unless you hate talking to people & love sitting in traffic for every errand. Despite being built strictly for cars, they also are miserable to drive in due to heavy traffic & poor planning.
The residential zone is a massive sea of ugly cookie-cutter single-family luxury homes. These neighborhoods are designed for cars-only, eliminating walking or biking.
The shopping zone is strictly built for Big Business. Massive parking-lots, clogged up roads, & all the businesses are corporate, so no mom & pop shops.
McSuburbs also are devoid of any fun night-life or 3rd places for people to just hang out. Kids growing up in these suburbs need their parents to drive them around EVERYWHERE.
McSuburbs have all the negative traits of Urban, Suburban, & Rural living all rolled into one package.
There are plenty of historical suburbs that are actually nice to live in, such as the classic Street-car Suburbs of old America or the suburbs seen in Europe & Japan. But the McSuburbs are a dystopia.
The residential zone is a massive sea of ugly cookie-cutter single-family luxury homes. These neighborhoods are designed for cars-only, eliminating walking or biking.
The shopping zone is strictly built for Big Business. Massive parking-lots, clogged up roads, & all the businesses are corporate, so no mom & pop shops.
McSuburbs also are devoid of any fun night-life or 3rd places for people to just hang out. Kids growing up in these suburbs need their parents to drive them around EVERYWHERE.
McSuburbs have all the negative traits of Urban, Suburban, & Rural living all rolled into one package.
There are plenty of historical suburbs that are actually nice to live in, such as the classic Street-car Suburbs of old America or the suburbs seen in Europe & Japan. But the McSuburbs are a dystopia.
How am I supposed to get a date when I live in the McSuburbs?
American zoning laws have resulted in a new kind of town known as the McSuburbs.
I love visiting the cities in Europe, I hope I can move here someday. But for now I'm stuck in a McSuburb.
Stop building these McSuburbs everywhere! Make cities walkable again.
We Dutch love our 15-minute cities. Keep your McSuburbs out of our country America!
We Americans love our suburbs. I'll take the McSuburbs over your liberal crime cities & 15 minute commie towns any day!
American zoning laws have resulted in a new kind of town known as the McSuburbs.
I love visiting the cities in Europe, I hope I can move here someday. But for now I'm stuck in a McSuburb.
Stop building these McSuburbs everywhere! Make cities walkable again.
We Dutch love our 15-minute cities. Keep your McSuburbs out of our country America!
We Americans love our suburbs. I'll take the McSuburbs over your liberal crime cities & 15 minute commie towns any day!
by Evan Joestar June 11, 2024
Get the McSuburbs mug.The McSuburbs are those new copy-paste towns that are only designed for cars & big business instead of people. McSuburbs don't have public transportation, forcing everyone to drive. They suck to live in, unless you hate talking to people & love sitting in traffic for every errand. Despite being built strictly for cars, they also are miserable to drive in due to heavy traffic & poor planning.
The residential zone is a massive sea of ugly cookie-cutter single-family luxury homes. These neighborhoods are designed for cars-only, eliminating walking or biking.
The shopping zone is strictly built for Big Business. Massive parking-lots, clogged up roads, & all the businesses are corporate, so no mom & pop shops.
McSuburbs also are devoid of any fun night-life or 3rd places for people to just hang out. Kids growing up in these suburbs need their parents to drive them around EVERYWHERE.
McSuburbs have all the negative traits of Urban, Suburban, & Rural living all rolled into one package.
There are plenty of historical suburbs that are actually nice to live in, such as the classic Street-car Suburbs of old America or the suburbs seen in Europe & Japan. But the McSuburbs are a dystopia.
The residential zone is a massive sea of ugly cookie-cutter single-family luxury homes. These neighborhoods are designed for cars-only, eliminating walking or biking.
The shopping zone is strictly built for Big Business. Massive parking-lots, clogged up roads, & all the businesses are corporate, so no mom & pop shops.
McSuburbs also are devoid of any fun night-life or 3rd places for people to just hang out. Kids growing up in these suburbs need their parents to drive them around EVERYWHERE.
McSuburbs have all the negative traits of Urban, Suburban, & Rural living all rolled into one package.
There are plenty of historical suburbs that are actually nice to live in, such as the classic Street-car Suburbs of old America or the suburbs seen in Europe & Japan. But the McSuburbs are a dystopia.
How am I supposed to get a date when I live in the McSuburbs?
American zoning laws have resulted in a new kind of town known as the McSuburbs.
I love visiting the cities in Europe, I hope I can move here someday. But for now I'm stuck in a McSuburb.
Stop building these McSuburbs everywhere! Make cities walkable again.
We Dutch love our 15-minute cities. Keep your McSuburbs out of our country America!
We Americans love our suburbs. I'll take the McSuburbs over your liberal crime cities & 15 minute commie towns any day!
American zoning laws have resulted in a new kind of town known as the McSuburbs.
I love visiting the cities in Europe, I hope I can move here someday. But for now I'm stuck in a McSuburb.
Stop building these McSuburbs everywhere! Make cities walkable again.
We Dutch love our 15-minute cities. Keep your McSuburbs out of our country America!
We Americans love our suburbs. I'll take the McSuburbs over your liberal crime cities & 15 minute commie towns any day!
by Evan Joestar June 11, 2024
Get the McSuburbs mug.A catch-all term that includes Suburban, Exurban, & Rural areas in North America where you need a car for everything.
It includes all places shaped by low-density single-family zoning, car-dependency, & consumerism. It does not include TV-style walkable suburbs like Springfield or rural agrarian areas where everyone grows their own food.
The Sprawls is where a growing majority of Americans actually live but TV refuses to display. Whether you live in a beige McMansion in the suburbs or a trailer home near a cow field, both can say they live in The Sprawls.
Life in the Sprawls is defined by a lack of walkable old-town areas, lack of 3rd places or nightlife, huge parkinglots, LOTS of driving, & hardcore consumerism & commercialism. There's little to do in Sprawl towns other than shopping & driving. Human contact is minimal & transactional. Most of your time will be spent indoors or sitting in traffic.
The Sprawls came to be after WW2 & the rapid expansion of the auto industry & suburbs, especially in real estate landgrabs like in Texas.
Many people are dependent on social media for human interaction since the Sprawls are designed to isolate us. Meeting people requires planning, driving, spending money, & scheduling weeks ahead. Over time life in The Sprawls produces loneliness, boredom, screen addiction, resentment, & the feeling that life is permanently stalled even if you’re “doing everything right.”
It includes all places shaped by low-density single-family zoning, car-dependency, & consumerism. It does not include TV-style walkable suburbs like Springfield or rural agrarian areas where everyone grows their own food.
The Sprawls is where a growing majority of Americans actually live but TV refuses to display. Whether you live in a beige McMansion in the suburbs or a trailer home near a cow field, both can say they live in The Sprawls.
Life in the Sprawls is defined by a lack of walkable old-town areas, lack of 3rd places or nightlife, huge parkinglots, LOTS of driving, & hardcore consumerism & commercialism. There's little to do in Sprawl towns other than shopping & driving. Human contact is minimal & transactional. Most of your time will be spent indoors or sitting in traffic.
The Sprawls came to be after WW2 & the rapid expansion of the auto industry & suburbs, especially in real estate landgrabs like in Texas.
Many people are dependent on social media for human interaction since the Sprawls are designed to isolate us. Meeting people requires planning, driving, spending money, & scheduling weeks ahead. Over time life in The Sprawls produces loneliness, boredom, screen addiction, resentment, & the feeling that life is permanently stalled even if you’re “doing everything right.”
"Just walk outside & talk to someone?! Dude where do you think I live? Fucking Time Square? I live in the Sprawls dude. Aint nobody making friends here, we're just sitting in our cars the whole time we leave home."
Most TV shows & movies take place in a handful of vibrant settings like old city blocks or Rockwell suburbs. But few ever dare to show the Sprawls, for it would be a very isolating depressing setting where everyone has to plan to meet up.
Anyways I live in the Sprawls, so it shouldn't be hard to guess why I rarely get to talk to girls my age.
I was born in the sprawls, so I didnt get to have many friends growing up, didn't go to many parties, get girlfriends, etc. I pretty much grew up on TV cartoons & videogames.
Most TV shows & movies take place in a handful of vibrant settings like old city blocks or Rockwell suburbs. But few ever dare to show the Sprawls, for it would be a very isolating depressing setting where everyone has to plan to meet up.
Anyways I live in the Sprawls, so it shouldn't be hard to guess why I rarely get to talk to girls my age.
I was born in the sprawls, so I didnt get to have many friends growing up, didn't go to many parties, get girlfriends, etc. I pretty much grew up on TV cartoons & videogames.
by Evan Joestar February 3, 2026
Get the The Sprawls mug.