Empress Kristi's definitions

youtuber

greedy ass people who have a massive fanbase of simps who, to this day are still trying to find their OnlyFans...

Jake Poo: OK, but before i do this experiment, I have to thank our sponsor, RAID SHADOW LEGENDs~
82 years later
Jake Poo: Now, 3, 2, 1...
*2x 20 second non-skippable ad plays*
Jake poo: 3, 2, 1... TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT FUN!

me: i hate youtubers *proceeds to throw pc out the window*
hobo: oh hell yeah! free pc! can you pass me the wi-fi router too?
me: *throws wifi*

by Empress Kristi April 28, 2022

Rick Astley

Honestly a very underrated pop singer in the 80's and 90's. Now get off Never Gonna Give Up and listen to some of his other songs.

(yes kids, he has more songs, but don't worry, he won't give us up, despite what his song 'Giving Up On Love' says but hush)

Me asking 1000 people what their favorite rick astley song is:
986 people chose never gonna give you up

by Empress Kristi July 1, 2023

Ligma

Ligma balls disease, more commonly referred as LIGMA, is a very rare disease that can be life wreaking, put you on life support for the next two decades and kill you.

“Steve Jobs died of LIGMA. In 2069 there will be a cure to ligma. In 2069 we will be releasing a cure to ligma balls disease. The way to do it is for the doctors to bang your mom! HA! GOTTEM!” *dies of ligma*

- an anonymous person who goes by the name of P.H

by Empress Kristi April 18, 2022

Where do babies come from?

The worst and the most awkward question your child will ask you in your lifetime (if you were a parent)

Don't bother lying, they will find out eventually.

Stewie: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!
Lois: WHAT IS IT????????????????????
Stewie: hi
Lois: I will send you to jesus
Stewie: I was actually going to ask you something.
Lois: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?
Stewie: Where do babies come from?
Lois: From a stork..
Stewie: Isn't the baby too big?
Lois: It's a magik stork!
Stewie: That doesn't make sense.
Lois: It does.
Stewie: *GASP* DADDY FUCKED MOM~
Lois: *kills Stewie*

by Empress Kristi April 15, 2022

Kim il-Sung

The first ruler of North Korea. Unlike his descendants he actually fed the people and tried to rebuild the country after the Korean War. It wasn't until Kim Jong-il came along that the country just descended into what it is now because he fucked up the whole country.

I can't believe people were forced to mourn after Kim il-Sung died.
mf he actually cared for his people, it wasn't forced mourning and people were genuinely sad, get your facts right

by Empress Kristi December 30, 2023

faggot

A British food made of meatballs and pig heart or liver. What were you thinking?

ngl faggots are disgusting
I’m reporting you for homophobia
no what I mean is that food made of pig heart and liver and meatballs
oh… in that case…
yeah, that does sound disgusting

by Empress Kristi June 19, 2023

fag

British slang for a cigarette. What were you looking for?

uh ok imma brb imma just smoke a fag

wait what

by Empress Kristi November 12, 2022